Hey everyone!

I’ve got a great guest blogger for you today.  With the battle over Christmas in full swing again, with the armies of Christians defending their holiday against the onslaught of “holiday” celebrators, I thought I’d do a little fraternizing with the enemy.

For several months, No Forbidden Questions has been one of the few atheist blogs in my blog reader.  NFQ, as she calls herself, comments here regularly, and what she says is always thoughtful and challenging.  If you want your Christian apologetics to get a workout, read her blog.

Today, I’ve got her here to ask her just what the deal is with all these atheists trying to destroy our sacred holiday and make baby Jesus cry.  Good stuff.

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Parents, can you do me a favor?

See, it’s that time of year when kids are pumped up for Santa to come to their houses and bring lots of goodies.  But like any faithful Christian, children sometimes have doubts about Santa’s existence.

Of course, other kids have become hard-bitten Santa atheists.  And they come to school, passionate about their new beliefs, and like a new religious convert, make idiots of themselves as they try to convert their friends with zeal and half-truths and lots of bad information.  And the believers will push back with righteous indignation.  Once children get a taste for blood that comes from persecuting others’ beliefs, it’s hard to break them of it.

So can you give your kids a little prep this week?  Tell them that, like their bodies or politics, we talk about Santa’s existence at home with Mom and Dad, not with the teacher, and not with other kids…

Because, I’m having trouble coming up with a good response to your kids when they ask if Santa is real.  Here’s a few I’ve tried out.  None have been ideal.  Maybe you can help me.

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Parents will do just about anything to make Christmas memorable for the kids.

Some parents search relentlessly for the gift that the kids will remember forever.

Others try to get the spiritual meaning of Christmas across to their kids…which can be difficult when the kids are hopped up on candy canes and the ecstasy of unbridled consumerism.

And some parents try to use Christmas to blackmail their children into good behavior.  Some parents trot out the old myth that Santa can always see you.  Others employ modern inventions like the “elf on the shelf,” who is basically Santa’s spy, a ruse crafted for savvy post-911, Patriot Act children.

If you want my advice on how your kids can have the most meaningful, memorable Christmas ever, it doesn’t take any extra trips to the mall or stories about Santa and elves.

Just tell your kids you don’t love them…

Still with me?  No?  Let me clarify.

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On Wednesday, we talked about how a bunch of people think they can’t “afford” Christmas.

“Poo!” said I!  We’re just a bunch of whiners addicted to self pity.

Have you ever thought about what the first Christmas really cost?  No, not the gold and frankincense.  Though, if I got a box of smelly myrrh paste, I’m not sure I’d be too excited, no matter the cost.

I mean really.  Have you thought about this?  Christmas ruins lives.  Has been for a couple thousand years.  If you don’t believe me, then pour yourself a glass of eggnog and read my possibly somewhat completely irreverent telling of the Christmas story.

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I don’t get it.

The math just doesn’t add up.

In case you didn’t hear, about half of us in America are afraid that we can’t afford Christmas this year.  That seems about right.  A bunch of us are out of work.  A lot more of us have given up on trying to find work.  We just don’t have a penny to spare.

But wait a minute…

Despite all the predictions to the contrary, Black Friday and Cyber Monday were a massive success.  We dropped more money than ever – $1 billion more at malls than last year.  That’s a 7% increase, which is also the largest increase ever.  We made it rain money all over cashiers and Paypal accounts.

So how does that happen?  How are half of us in the hole, and yet we’re Christmas shopping harder than ever?  I’ve been thinking about that this week.  The way I see it, there are three possibilities.  One of them involves yachts.

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Are you still trying to find that “perfect” gift?

Millions of shoppers are on that same quest – to find the absolute perfect toy, trinket or gadget which perfectly encompasses the personality of the receiver and will save Christmas.

As I struggle to finish my Christmas shopping, my mouse finger aching as I collapse near the finish line, I decided to look to the spirit of Christmases past.  After all, everyone has a relative that’s difficult to find a perfect gift for.  Everyone wants to give a gift that will be remembered and cherished forever.

So I decided to investigate.  When gift givers of yesteryear needed a perfectly timeless, memorable, forever treasured gift, what did they buy?  What are the gifts that are still being remembered, played with and loved by all those lucky Christmas gift-getters?

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