Archives For relationships

Supreme CourtOf course, there has been but one thing that we have all been talking about over the last several days.

There are the people who support the Supreme Court decision. There are people who celebrate it…

And then there are the people, apparently about 40% of us, who do not celebrate, do not support the new law of the land in regards to marriage.

Over the last couple of years, I have heard it said over and over that state and now federal government is “redefining” marriage; the premise being that marriage has some transcendent and immutable qualities that the court just overturned.

I always found this argument to be somewhat odd, and now that the inevitable has happened, I finally figured out why. If you think the Supreme Court redefined marriage last Friday, my gut instinct is that you should probably take it up with King Henry the Eighth.

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I wonder what kind of sex talk happens in this family...

I wonder what kind of sex talk happens in this family…

I’ll be honest, I have nothing to say about Josh Duggar, his misdeeds or his family.

It’s all been said…vehemently.

Some of what has been said has been reasonable, helpful and redemptive and some of it has not.

And so I sit on the sidelines, having some opinions, but fearing that my opinions are not well-informed enough, not helpful enough to share, and wondering who is really qualified to make definitive statements about this bizarre situation.

But I will tell you, this whole situation has given me pause as a father to give very serious thought about what I will tell my son about life, about sin, and about sex. We Christians complain that the public schools are pushing sex ed. earlier and earlier, but few of us are willing to have the kinds of conversations our children need. This is not an awkward ten minutes at the kitchen table, done because we find out our kid is already messing around. This is a conversation that deserves to be thought about for the ten years leading up to it.

If my son were old enough to have the talk, this is what I would tell him, in light of how Josh Duggar’s life has fallen apart.

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Does our generation suck at marriage?OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Last week, I found this article by twenty-nine year old Anthony D’Ambrosio. He met his wife in 2004, married her in 2012, and here we are, three years later, and he’s divorced.

Thus, he says, the millennial generation’s marriages are doomed. Marriage “doesn’t work” anymore. We just can’t handle it.

Now, I take exception to that, as I’ve been married nine years and counting. I know, not a huge number, but nearly a decade is nothing to sniff at either. D’Ambrosio made a few good points, but I wondered…

…Are we really a generation headed for relationship armageddon?

I don’t think so.

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My wife is pregnant.doctor-scale-by-enthalpyy

At this point in time, it’s safe to say she’s quite pregnant. No, she’s not eating everything in sight. In fact, she did not really at at all for the first three months. Most of the weight she has gained is truly baby weight.

But it’s funny. While she was sick for three months, she put me in charge of making meals. She just could not stand the sight or smell of cooking food. And so for three months, I made dinner every night. And even though she struggled to force down a meal, I never felt sick. I just kept putting the food away like I always have.

And then a couple of weeks ago, my sweetie, the woman I love, sat down next to me on the couch.

“Honey, I have to say something”

Uh-oh.

“You aren’t going to like this.”

Red alert.

“It’s just that…Are you putting on some sympathy weight?”

And just like that, my pregnant wife had called me out for being fat.

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This week, TIME announced their person of the year is Pope Francis.time-person-of-the-year-cover-pope-francis

He’s been in office less than a year.  But he hasn’t wasted any time attracting attention, ironically, through a demeanor that oozes humility.  The attention he has garnered has been just what the papacy and the church needs, even if there are critics who don’t want the kind of attention he is attracting.

But clearly, Francis is winning over the world.  I’m not even Catholic, and I think the guy is amazing.

The Pope has been the most talked about person on Facebook and other social media this year.  TIME magazine’s choice doesn’t crown a person of the year, so much as it acknowledges what everyone already knows.

Now we are coming up on a new year, which is the perfect time to make a resolution.

What if I resolved that next year, was going to be Person of the Year?

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What do we talk about when we talk about “non-negotiables?”6a00d834515f9b69e201310fc671c7970c-800wi

When it comes to our faith, what is not up for debate?

What are the hills we are willing to die on?  The lines we are willing to draw in the sand?

It seems we have a lot of those lines and hills.  Thou shalt not cross this line, or thou shalt be thrown out of the gates, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.  The more complex our society becomes, the more choices we have, the more divided we can be.

A few weeks ago, a blog friend asked on Facebook if Christian unity were possible, without compromising “non-negotiable” tenants of our faith.  Those non-negotiables are important.  So I’m wondering if, in our sea of dividing lines, our nearly infinite “non-negotiables,” could we do it?

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