Karma.

It’s a pretty popular philosophy, and it’s not just for Hindus.  It’s a great philosophy for New Agers, Christians, religious and atheists.  It’s just a super trendy one-size-fits-all worldview.  We like to think that what goes around comes around.  Justice happens, one way or another.  Seems reasonable.

A couple of years ago, I blogged about how karma had become like a trendy piece of Pier 1 furniture that most Americans keep in their homes.  We don’t really think about it, but it seems more exotic than our regular old couches, and our regular old Jesus.  I have heard many Christians refer to karma, as if it is a real force.

But unless you are a Hindu (and I don’t think there are very many of you reading this blog,) it’s time that we ditched karma.  It’s exotic appeal is starting to wear thin on me.

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I love a friendly debate about faith.  Or a friendly debate about anything, really.

There are people who believe differently than I do, and can debate faith fairly.  I always leave those conversations energized and hopeful.  This post is not about them.

But whenever I start talking faith I can almost guarantee there will be some poser standing around who will have this to say: 

“Christians think they are the only ones who have the path to God.”

Or, “Christians think they are the only ones who are right.”

That’s supposed to be an insult, like being called a racist, and it’s played about as often.  People who accuse Christians of believing they have the one true religion usually claim that all “spiritual” paths are equally awesome, as long as the people who practice them are sincere. 

Christians especially are caught in an awkward place.  Many of us believe we know the truth.  But in a world of political correctness, it’s easy to be afraid of others thinking we’re narrow minded. 

Well, it’s time I made a tidy little response.

Four responses to “Christians think they’re the only ones who are right.”
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Know what I’ve been thinking about lately?

Sex.

And by “lately,” I mean “approximately the last sixteen years.  Give or take.

I started thinking this, and then I went looking around the internet to see if anyone had thought of what I had.  It took approximately 19 seconds to realize that my idea wasn’t original.  But that’s okay.  About 32% of this blog’s content is ideas I thought I was clever enough to have thought of on my own, only to find out there are a lot of other geniuses out there plagarizing my brain. 

Anyway, back to sex not making any sense.  True, if you break it down, the whole thing is pretty ridiculous.  But what’s on my mind is just how weird it is in the evolutionary scheme of things.  Back when my eighth grade science teacher was teaching us evolution, she never explained how sex evolved.

The Next Time You Get the Chance to Argue with Your Eighth Grade Science Teacher…
I actually was that kid that argued with my eighth grade science teacher over evolution.  Unfortunately, my family was not fundamentalist enough for me to come well stocked with much pro-Creation ammo.  I made my point, but I was pretty sweaty.  It was about the most rebellious thing I had done to that point. 

All of us who weren’t nurtured in the caring bosom of a Christian school were told by our all-knowing eighth grade science teachers that living organisms evolved from simpler life forms.  They adapted to their environments and gained new traits through natural selection.  They did all of this to make one thing easier: reproduction.  Part of the reason Christian schools don’t teach evolution is that it’s all about S-E-X.

This cute little cuddlebug to the left is E Coli.  E Coli is pretty small and pretty simple.  When E Coli becomes a teenager and moves down to his parents’ basement and gets terrible acne, he doesn’t start thinking about sex.  He starts sneaking magazines into his basement hideout so he can fantasize about dividing millions of times.  One of his classmates told him in the locker room he actually divided once for real, and it was awesome.  Sometimes, he practices dividing when he’s home by himself, but he’s afraid he’ll get caught, because some people say it’s wrong.

E Coli has it pretty easy when it comes to starting a family.  He doesn’t have to listen to someone nagging him to pick up his socks before he gets some, he just divides!  Wham, bam, thank you…me. 

It makes you wonder why evolution didn’t just stop right there, doesn’t it?  Because all the careless, casual animal sex resulting in single-mother animal households can’t possibly keep up with all the hot, sweaty, asexual reproduction happening all the time. 

Then, if that weren’t enough, evolution kept happening!  Animals evolved into humans.  Humans take a really long time to not be helpless ninnies.  Hence, public schools.  Average people only reproduce a handful of times, despite living longer than most animals.  Women invented things like “romance” to cut down on the amount of reproducing men would try to do…or something like that.

And, humans can even choose not to have kids!  We’ve evolved so much, we use sex for everything except making babies!  We use sex to sell beer and cars.  (Which I suppose can inadvertanly lead to babies, so maybe it evens out…)

Talk about an evolutionary mistake.  When it comes to evolutionary achievement, humans seem to be dead last.  There is no reason for us to have evolved this much.

If you could go back and challenge your high school science teacher, what would you say?  I’d definately ask why we were forced to see that awful video in sex ed with the PE coaches while the tiny sea plankton are just going at it like a bunch of asexual addicts.  To you, what’s the biggest problem with evolutionary theory?  If you wouldn’t argue with your science teacher, which teacher would you argue with?

Did you know there are “factual errors” in your Bible?

That’s what Dr. Bart Ehrman says, author of “Jesus Interrupted.”  His book is all about the completely random, human circumstances that formed the Bible we know today.

While I was perusing the bookstore this week, I spent some time with the book.  It seemed like a good idea, this being unofficially “Doubt Month” here at the blog.  I especially concentrated on the last chapter, titled “Is Faith Possible.”

What surprised me was his account of becoming an agnostic (not an atheist.)  He actually said that nothing in the whole book was new information to him, or to the “academic” world, and none of it had to do with his loss of faith.  He felt disenchanted with the Bible long ago, but his becoming an agnostic boiled down to one thing…

Evil: pain, suffering, injustice, bad stuff.

This certainly intelligent guy lost his faith over the same worn out stumbling block that has tripped thousands of minds before his.  How could a perfectly loving God allow all the suffering and evil and pain in the world we see?  Answer: there is no perfectly loving God.

That got me thinking.  How do I justify it?  How do I look at our crappy world, supposedly the very evidence of our wonderful Creator, and actually give Him credit and praise for it?  I’ve struggled with that before.  Maybe you’ve struggled with the same thing.  Maybe it’s caused you to have doubts or a crisis of faith.

Well I finally used my brilliant mind and came up with a couple of responses that I hope are helpful, if you are struggling with this. 

First, I’d ask Bart, “Can I call you Bart?”  Then if he said yes, I’d say, “Bart, as a fellow human being and steward of this world, how much suffering and evil and pain have you allowed to exist in this world?  How have you acted to ease the strife of your fellow man?  How much of the proceeds of your book are going to save the people that God refuses to?”

Really, why is it on God to solve my every problem?  We assume if something’s wrong, someone else should take care of it.  And if you can’t find someone to help you, the government should fix it.  And if the government is too far in debt to handle it, then God should solve it.  That’s what we pay Him 2.5% of our paychecks every Sunday to do!

On the flip side, think about this: the last century saw the rise of more humanitarian organizations than at any other time in history.  There is more human power (and just as important,) more money available to allieviate suffering in the world than ever before.  If you’re one to give God credit for moving human hearts and checkbooks, it sounds like God’s been working his holy butt off, thank you.

Second, I’d say, “Bart, while you’re pondering that first question, let me buy you another beer because I can tell you’ve had a hard day.  Now think about this.  It’s obvious that God allows evil and pain and suffering.  He even allowed Himself to be affected by it.  If he is so good, then it would seem He suffers everyday for His creation.  But isn’t it quite obvious that although God allows suffering, it is people who cause the most suffering?”

Seriously, if we were keeping score on who causes suffering in the world, we’d have the lead on God by, like, a million points.  When it comes to causing pain, God’s so 2000-and-late.

Okay, so God creates a category 5 hurricane, which we called Katrina.  That’s pretty big, and God would be responsible for that storm and the suffering it caused.  As it turns out, humans were only responsible for everything else.  It was human laziness, greed, and outright stupidity that insufficiently built the city below sea level and ignored the scientifically proven need for more water pumps.  It was human idiocy that made such an inept response after the storm.  And it was human arrogance that caused all those people to stay in their homes and watch the weather forecasters tell them what was going to happen days in advance.

Kind of makes the hurricane itself seem like not that big of a deal.  In fact, when we talked about hurricane Katrina in the days afterward, we didn’t blame God.  We blamed George W. Bush (even though we should’ve been blaming the Mayor of Crybaby Town, Ray Nagin.)

The more I’ve studied human history (which has been a lot), the more I’ve realized that we have no one but ourselves to blame.  And yes, God allows us to do it all to ourselves, because He hopes one day, we’ll choose better.  Seems kind of naive and idealistic of an all-knowing God, I know.  But maybe He knows something I don’t.  In the meantime, I think He plans to bring justice to the people who got the short end when He sorts it all out.

The real “problem of evil” is that God hasn’t acted as we would in His place.  If I were God, if I had the power to control everyone, I’d do it.  I’d make sure the humans were put in their place and there would be hell to pay if they screwed up.  Isn’t that what most anyone tries to do when they find themselves “in charge?”  That’s just not God’s game.
Well that’s just me.  My answers may not be enough for you.  What do you think?  I’d be happy to continue this conversation, so let’s go.  Have you ever struggled with the “problem of evil?”  How have you dealt with it?  Are you still struggling with it?

We’re going to have something super fun on Friday.  You won’t want to miss it.  I met a blog hero of mine a while ago, and you’ll get to read all about it.  I’m giddy with anticipation!

Monday, I talked about the useless arguments Christians are prone to use when trying to convince non-believers about God.

Let’s turn the tables. Because there’s a few asinine arguments up a lot of atheists’ sleeve too.

I still stand by what I said that most atheists are lovely people. But I cannot deny that there is a new breed of neo-Atheists who can hardly be called ‘friendly.’ They act as if the very presence of religion makes them completely miserable and bitter.

Fortunately for us, many of the arguments they preach and the ‘regular’ atheists regurgitate are childish and lame.

Six Atheist Arguments Christians Can Easily Answer

Christians are a Bunch of Hypocrites.
I’m sorry you think that.

I’m sorry you think occasionally failing to live up to high ethical standards is the root of all evil. I happen to think having no standards at all would naturally be much more evil.

I’m happy for you that you have no convictions that you might not live up to once in a while.

I’m sorry that Christians are the only people who’ve ever let you down.

And I’m sorry that the only Christians you’ve known in your life were on TV.

Do You Know How Many Wars Have Been Fought in the Name of Christianity?
Three? Four? Ten? I know there’s been a few.

How many wars have been fought in the name of everything else?
Oil? Territory? Dominance? Technology? Culture? Economics? Racism?
War predates Christianity by quite a few years. War wasn’t invented for religion’s sake. Religion is abused for war’s sake.

Lots of other stuff besides war was done in the name of Christianity. Like ending slavery, for one. I guess if you’re a wealthy southern plantation owner, I can see how that would piss you off.

Hitler Was a Christian.
Monday I pointed out that Christians sometimes like to look for a cheap shot when debating atheists by saying Hitler was an atheist. Turns out atheists like to do the same. So if Hitler was a Christian, it must mean that all Christians are harboring an extreme hatred for the world.

So if Hitler was a Christian, and therefore all Christians are like Hitler, then…

…all Muslims must be violent terrorists like Bin Laden,
and all Irish must be rampant loudmouths like Bono.

But of course, saying that would make me politically incorrect and a racist…well, maybe that first one.

The Only Thing Christians Do is Indoctrinate Kids.
I love free thinkers. I used to run into them a lot, but then I became employed. Many of them like to paint Christians as brain-washers.

Tell me, if we’re so good at hypnotizing the masses, how did you escape?

I love how hippie New Age parents want their children to decide for themselves what they’ll be without any parental pressure or guidance. So they dress their kids up like punks to show how much they’re fighting the man, as the parents pretend to not be capitalists. Of course that desire fades as soon as their kids show any interest in becoming Republicans, Christians, CEOs of ‘evil’ corporations, or anything else that’s not a hippie New Ager.

Besides, if you’re so against indoctrination, maybe you should tell Christopher Hitchens to stop writing books.

I am a Scientist. I Take Nothing on Faith.
Good. Then quit using ridiculous arguments, Mr. Scientist.

How many things do you believe that you have actually tested using the scientific method? Have you formed a hypothesis that France exists, despite every logical thread in your being telling you such a place could not possibly exist, formulate an experiment to test the existence of France, record your findings, repeat said experiment, and correctly conclude that despite all odds and wishes to the contrary, France does indeed exist.

No you didn’t. You took it on authority that your third grade teacher was not a liar. And you’ve been drinking science-flavored kool-aid your entire life.

I Don’t Need a God to Tell Me to Be Good. I’m Good for It’s Own Sake.
Good. Because if you ever failed at that, you’d be a hypocrite. That would make you the root of all evil.

I haven’t touched all their arguments, and haven’t even done the best job at answering them. Then again, they write books about God not existing, and this blog is a few hundred words I wrote in my spare time.

What are some of the lame arguments you’ve heard? I’m even more interested in hearing what was something that made you doubt Christianity when your faith and knowledge was not so strong?

Christians love to argue.

I think we like to argue with each other, just to take a break from arguing with non-Christians.

Christians often times like to try to ‘prove’ Christianity to non-believers. It makes so much sense! Here look at all these amazing reasons Jesus rules! Sometimes we do it out of love, sometimes we get heated and just have to vindicate ourselves.

The problem is, most of the arguments relied on by pastors and used by people are crutches that are super-lame, illogical, and don’t work.

First, you will never convince someone of the truth of Christianity. That’s something only God himself can do. But if you find yourself in an intellectual conversation about the truthiness of the Bible, please don’t say any of these things…

Five Lame Ways to Prove Christianity

The Wager
The wager Christians like to pull out with non-believers is ‘What if Christianity is true and you end up going to hell for not believing?’ Sounds solid enough, because hell is a bad place to go and seems a good motivation for turning to Jesus. Except that most people don’t like to be threatened into doing something. That’s like terrorists making a guy renounce America under threat of beheading. We all know those terrorists are lame.

Besides, basing your beliefs on what amounts to a gamble to avoid hell probably isn’t going to impress God.

God: “So why do you think you should be in heaven?”

Dead Guy: “Well, I thought there was at least a 50/50 shot of me going to hell unless I became a Christian. So it looks like I gambled correctly! Can I have my welcome basket now?”

God: “Release the hounds.”

Everyone believes in God!
Well, not everyone. Atheists for one, Buddhists for another. That’s like least a billion people right there.

Christians like to say that belief in God is in almost everyone’s heart, so to not believe in Him is arrogant and against human nature. But Christians are notorious for fudging the numbers with baptisms and church memberships, so it figures they’d gloss over a billion atheists on the planet.

Besides, this argument goes directly against what your mother said to you when all your friends were doing stupid things, “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” Just because a bunch of idiots do this or believe that, it doesn’t make it not stupid.

C.S. Lewis makes a great argument for God’s existence, using this method, but starts with the inherant ethics of the human heart, and then works his way to God. It’s amazing, and I suggest you read Mere Christianity.

You can’t prove God doesn’t exist.
You can’t prove He does exist.

You just fell into the trap the atheist would like to set you in, but it’s a stupid trap for both people. If we’re going on proof based on our five senses, we wouldn’t know anything! I can’t prove the existence of germs, London, or the President based on my five senses!

Just drop this one entirely. It’s lame.

Hitler was an Atheist!
Maybe. Maybe he thought he was God’s agent.

The point of bringing up Hitler, I think is to say that atheists have no morals.

Which isn’t true. Most atheists are lovely people. As I said before, C.S. Lewis says that everyone has morals, and that’s what proves God (eventually).

Atheists just have no reason for their morals. That’s something I’ll never understand. Why should I care about rain forests or Africans or free trade coffee or be a vegan if this life is all there is?

Second, plenty of terrible people have claimed to be Christians. Wouldn’t that disprove Christianity? I don’t think we want to bring up Christianity’s solid history of good deeds to prove anything.

You just need faith!
Are you a child? Do you really think there is no proof for Christ other than suspending your adult intellect and injecting that feel-good drug of praise music and prosperity gospel to help numb the pain of life?

You don’t need to tell someone they need faith. Faith is produced by God working in an unbeliever’s heart apart from their desire to have faith. It will happen whether they want it to or not. Meanwhile, stop with the lame arguments.

What are your best reasons for faith in Christ? What are some of the lamest you’ve heard?