Why It Might Be Okay That Millennials Are Leaving the Church

August 14, 2013

I used to be an alarmist.2010-02-19-ec-peterjpg-93a862e09c069b80_large

I used to read every article, every Barna report with dread and fear.

Millennials are leaving the Church.

Fewer Americans than ever identify as Christians.

“Oh no!” I thought.  The Church is shrinking, losing influence, becoming irrelevant.  Soon, Christians will be a minority on the sidelines of American culture and we’ll all be sitting in sackcloth and ashes.

Last week, I discussed the exodus of millennials from the Church and the oft-repeated idea that is because they are “entitled.”  Today, I want to take on the whole exodus itself.  Because invariably, the statistics come across as some kind of apocalyptic doomsday scenario for the Church.

But one day very recently, I just stopped panicking.  I stopped believing that the world would end if the Church ended.

I started wondering what if it was actually a good thing for a generation to leave the Church.

Confusing Church With a Capital “C”

Like a grain of sand, one tiny thing started bugging me about the discussion around Millennials leaving the Church.

A seemingly insignificant, tiny detail…

In fact, it’s only a single letter.  The letter “C.”

You see, this entire conversation (including this blog post) hinges on a capital “C;” the one in the word Church.  That capital letter shapes the whole conversation.  For Millennials are said to be leaving the Church…with a capital “C.”

In that capital letter is the implication that they are leaving the whole Church, the global Church, the universal Church.  They might as well be buying a one-way ticket to hell.

But as I see it, Millennials aren’t leaving “the Church.”

They are leaving churches with a lowercase “c.”  There is a huge difference.  The Church is an eternal thing, the Body of Christ, built by God himself, which cannot be destroyed.

But churches are human institutions.  They are imperfect.  They are mortal.  They are built by people.  At their best, they are still only shadows of the real Church.  Young people are not leaving the body of Christ.  They are not leaving the Kingdom of God.  They are just leaving churches.  And that makes a big difference.


The difference it makes is this:

Why are Millennials leaving churches?  They probably have a myriad of reasons in their minds.  But I have a suspicion…

I suspect that people do not leave so much as they are driven away from churches because churches fail to represent Jesus Christ.  Human nature dictates that the laws of inertia would keep a lot of people in their seats just out of force of habit.  But when people are getting up out of their seats, breaking lifelong habits in the process, it is not just their own free will.  Something is nudging them.

Let’s reframe the question.  How many people are actually leaving Jesus?  How many people are rejecting the gospel?  My guess is that if the surveys were framed in this way that the numbers would be very different.  What if people who leave churches aren’t rejecting Jesus, because in all the time they’ve gone to church they never met Jesus?  What if people who leave churches aren’t disavowing the Gospel, because they’ve never heard the gospel in their churches?

God Does Not Need Churches

So I am at the point where the statistics do not panic me.  They do not worry me.

If “the Church” is half its size in twenty years, so be it.  There are some churches out there that are the last place Jesus would want to be.  There are some churches that deserve to be left.  Every time someone leaves a church where Jesus is not evident, I applaud.  I’d rather people go wander the wilderness where at least they are surrounded by something God created, then stay in a church where Jesus is not present.  Yes, I have enough faith in God to believe that He doesn’t need our churches to get through to people.  Whether people are right to leave or not, God can still find them.

So it doesn’t matter how many of our wooden and brick and stone churches close their doors.  The Church (capital “C”) will never die.  God will find a way to preserve the Gospel.  The Russian revolutionaries tried to stamp out the Church and nearly succeeded.  Except that when they were burning all of the literature, they forgot to burn Tolstoy and Dostoevsky.

Churches in a generation might look very different.  But let’s not confuse our churches that we build with the Body of Christ, the Church that God is building.

Tell me what you think.  Have you ever been panicked by the doomsday statistics?  Why do you think people leave churches? Have you left your church?

45 responses to Why It Might Be Okay That Millennials Are Leaving the Church

  1. I very much agree: what matters is capital-C Church, not churches. But. That (if?) millennials are leaving churches is a symptom. It points to one of two things:
    – either they are leaving the Church
    – or we aren’t doing church in a way that reflects the Church.

    In any case, we shouldn’t dismiss these alarming news out of hand!
    Pierre recently posted..The art of being interruptible in 8 steps

    • 1. The only way you can tell if someone actually leaves the Church(Capital C) aka the Ekklesia, is if they bear no fruit,do things to hurt others and live selfishly. But again, it all bears down to the fruit. Are they making a difference wherever they are? Are they loving others? Do they care about others? You cannot tell by where they spend their time. For example: Christ was spotted eating and drinking with sinners and tax collectors, even hanging out with known harlots. That is equivalent to a Christian today being spotted in a bar talking with lawyers and prostitutes in Vegas. But then again, how can we reach sinners, if we treat them all like lepers?

      2. I don’t believe it is possible to ‘do church’ the way it is intended under the current hierarchical model(top down leadership) because it hinders every member functioning and creates an unhealthy dependency on pastors for spiritual growth rather than the Spirit within.

  2. I sometimes panic when I read statistics, but as the Church is concerned I know that even if the buildings are destroyed, people, God’s Church, will still gather in community. We left our previous church because we felt it was beginning to water down its teachings. It was still a believing church, but we weren’t so sure about the direction it was heading. And though it wasn’t an easy decision, we believe it was our time to move on, and we started attending another Church. No, it isn’t perfect either, but I think that is where the Holy Spirit nudges and helps us through issues that are major and worthy of leaving behind, or issues that that are simply human that need prayer to work through and move past.

    God doesn’t want us to give up meeting together. It is how we are held accountable, encouraged and taught…
    Holly recently posted..Observe, Learn and Imagine…

  3. I think you make a really good point here, and I think what you are saying is most likely true of some millenials. And I agree, there are some churches that I would not grieve if they were gone or decimated 20 years from now.

    However, I think you may be giving the entire generation a little too much credit. Or maybe you just have a more optimistic view of people’s receptivity to the Gospel than I do? But it seems to me that at least some millenials may indeed be leaving the Church because they are indeed rejecting the Gospel. It sounds like you are saying that if people would only meet Jesus in church, they would never leave. But the reality is that some people do meet Jesus, maybe even know and like him for a while, and then DO walk away from him because his teaching is too hard, because they just don’t believe. But of course, this isn’t something unique to millenials.
    Amy B recently posted..Thankfuls

  4. I think the fact that this is even such a big deal speaks volumes to how self-centered the American church (little c) has become.

    The undercurrent to all the breathless reporting on the issue is that God will only be revealed to the properly “saved” people that show up to church on time, the ones that arrive with a head full of the correct theology and their properly submissive wife and 2.5 kids in tow. That God apparently does not deign to communicate with the hipster college kid spending Sunday morning in bed, and certainly has nothing to do with the homeless guy spending Sunday morning under a bridge or the South American kid spending Sunday morning fishing in the Amazon.

    If that’s the god that winds up “losing” all the millenials, then he’s a pretty pathetic god, in my estimation.

  5. No fan of the American churches. Not a one of them is The Church, because The Church is not bound nor limited to four walls, programs, outreaches, or “Pastors” who selfishly assume that their churches belong to them and them alone.

    The difference between The Church and American churches comes down to headship. Perhaps an over-simplified way of looking at it, but one I firmly believe.

    When you have attendees of the American churches who want their political version of Jesus to be represented, and it isn’t, they leave. They basically throw tantrums and write books about it – have Twitter accounts – Facebook profiles – etc – and how churches are full of fuddy-duddy old white men who don’t understand the evolution of Jesus and how he really is. Jesus, you see, is different than that mean, old God of the Old Testament. And whatever that guy Paul wrote, that homophobic misogynist, is not really worth reading or following.

    The worst is that they believe The Scriptures aren’t really accurate, and that their version of Jesus is better than the old-fashioned tragicallyun-hip version of Jesus these old fuddy-duddy white men all rant on and on about. It is as if they have embraced a different Gospel than the one preached since the Book of Acts.

    Is there hope? Of course. Can His Truth still be seen by these people? Of course. Is it too late for them? Not at all. But until they stop trying to make Jesus into their image, there will be chaos, and their words will sow death and not life.
    Donald Borsch Jr recently posted..Create Presentations Easily on WordPress.com with Shortcodes

  6. In seminary, I shocked my conservative friends when I stated that while I don’t believe in the rapture, I pray for it everyday. They were shocked about both statements and asked after it. I stated, “when the rapture believers are gone, we can actually get some work done and bring the Kingdom of God around in a week.”

    I’m okay with churches declining and dying. Many are havens of toxic and counter-Kingdom behavior. Yet if we can show that there are communities out there, and yes, some are churches, that are working on the Kingdom stuff… we’ll be truer.

    A good atheist friend of mine has been posting about the “belief-ianity.” Believing to belong or believing because that’s what everyone else is doing… How sad. I’m okay if they leave. I want the passionate, the committed, and those working on the kingdom, not just giving lip service and saying, “I believe in Jesus, but will crucify anyone who acts like him.”
    Luke recently posted..Summer at the Sea

    • Luke,

      I would ask, how do we build The Kingdom or The Church? How do we bring The Kingdom around in a week? Are there things we need to do for Jesus that He can’t do Himself? Is His Kingdom reliant upon our efforts or works for it to be built or manifest Itself? As a covenant son I know my Father has everything under His control, and He gives us tasks to do that are designed to sharpen and refine us, making us more and more into the image of His Son, my Lord and Master Jesus Christ, but no tasks that The Kingdom hinges Itself upon. I find the mentality that we must be doing something, anything, as long as we are doing it FOR Jesus, to be a dangerous and scary thing. When mankind, me and you, decide we are doing things for Him is when people get hurt, and His Kingdom is cast into a less-than-stellar light.
      Donald Borsch Jr recently posted..Create Presentations Easily on WordPress.com with Shortcodes

      • “Faith without works is dead.”

        You can sit on your hands all you want and wait. Have fun with that. I’ll be out feeding the hungry, helping the poor, and clothing the naked. The Kingdom doesn’t come because of my actions… but my actions are the first fruits.
        Luke recently posted..Summer at the Sea

        • Indeed, indeed. And works without faith leads to death. So which one of us is correct? In your mindset it is about doing something for Jesus. You yourself said so in the ‘bringing the Kingdom in a week’ reference. I fully appreciate the truth that we do because of Jesus not for Jesus, I do. (I wish more folks would get that through their heads!) But you seem to be speaking out of both sides of your mouth here. You say that the Kingdom doesn’t come because of your actions (true), but you earlier said the opposite. Is it merely a matter of being busy, doing things for Jesus, making sure to check off our “to do list” on a daily basis, so that God in Heaven will show us favor? In Matthew 7, Jesus speaks about those who do many things in His Name, but yet they are denied Salvation, simply because He never knew them, no matter how strongly they maintain that they knew Him. The “do something” mentality, while admirable, can easily spiral into a false sense of service, a snare, a trap, designed to bolster our egos and our inner desires to please God, but going about it all the wrong way. Thanks for the intelligent dialogue, Luke! I look forward to your response, should you wish to offer one!
          Donald Borsch Jr recently posted..Create Presentations Easily on WordPress.com with Shortcodes

  7. Matt, you sir, are a pioneer. You definitely have vision and see the big picture. You ‘get it’.

    Great work!

  8. “So which one of us is correct?”
    -Why be a duelist in these matters?

    ” I fully appreciate the truth that we do because of Jesus not for Jesus, I do.”
    -YES! That’s what I’m saying.

    “But you seem to be speaking out of both sides of your mouth here.”
    -Yup! I am. Because it’s not a black and white issue. I have a podcast related to Salvation that might help you understand where I’m coming from. BTW thanks for the blog visit and feedback.

    I think we may be agreeing but using different words. Lets test it.

    John Wesley stated, “We work not for salvation but because of our salvation.” I’m not a methodist, but feel he was right here. I am very much a Protestant and even more so a Congregationalist, so I’m the protestant work ethic on steroids. Yet I was a Roman Catholic, so the idea of grace for the sake of grace is there too. So I must talk out of both sides of my mouth… The kingdom isn’t dependent on me, but can be furthered by my works, but my works without faith are misguided and my faith without works is dead… so the Living Faith of the Kingdom simultaneously extends the coming of the Kingdom but isn’t dependent on it.

    Am I missing something here?
    Luke recently posted..Summer at the Sea

    • Luke,

      Great conversation, btw.

      I’m not seeking to be a duelist, but I do believe that His Truth is tangible and very much so correct. So in light of that, I believe it is tow ways: His Way and His Way. Our ways, heh, are never His. It’s impossible to be like Him without Him in us. So I very much see things as black and white, and I function as a prophet this side of Heaven in accord with Ephesians 4:11 – 16. But I am not seeking to be a duelist with you for the sake thereof. I merely want His Truth to show itself, either in your words or mine. I’ve no time for petty disagreements and pissing contests. :)

      I chuckled at your self-description as being “I’m the protestant work ethic on steroids”! That was clever and easily understandable. And yes, while not a Methodist myself, the words of Wesley you wrote make total sense to me, as well. I particularly liked this part: “The kingdom isn’t dependent on me, but can be furthered by my works, but my works without faith are misguided and my faith without works is dead… so the Living Faith of the Kingdom simultaneously extends the coming of the Kingdom but isn’t dependent on it.” That was brilliant.

      Yet, and please allow me to speak with candor, I discern you are motivated by other reasons that Jesus to do as you do and speak as you speak. Is there a hidden agenda to your words? Obviously, I could be wrong, and if so, so be it. But I do not think I am wrong. It seems that your works are tied-into social justice and the flavor of it, as though Jesus to you is the ultimate social activist, and thusly, you wish to follow likewise. But I would ask, at what point is “social justice” really justice at all? How can society (social) determine what is just and unjust? That belongs to God the Father, yes? So is Jesus your version of the Ultimate Social Activist, or is He King, Lord, Savior, and God? Are you mixing the secular with the Divine and saying it equals Kingdom? These are open questions, asked without vitriol or accusation. I am genuinely curious. I look forward, again, to your reply!
      Donald Borsch Jr recently posted..Post #10: Jesus and Politics part 2

  9. http://www.gocomics.com/agnes/2013/08/15 I’m afraid that this doesn’t deal directly with today’s topic, but I figured as an art teacher you would get a chuckle out of it. And if I think about it long enough I can rationalize how it does connect to the post in that youngsters are trying a number of things to find their place in the world, including religions. We can pray and practice what we preach in hopes that they recognize real faith and not just tradition and cultural norms.

  10. Donald, Donald, Donald…. You’re right, I have an agenda. It’s Jesus. It’s the kingdom.

    “It seems that your works are tied-into social justice and the flavor of it, as though Jesus to you is the ultimate social activist, and thusly, you wish to follow likewise.”
    -I am sick and tired of people saying “the social gospel” like there’s any other kind. being a “prophet” you’d sorta assume this. For prophets weren’t people who saw in the future, they were political activists who kept pointing to God when people lost sight.

    That’d be me.

    You state “I’ve no time for petty disagreements and pissing contests.” yet it seems to me as you’re clearly looking for one. You too have an agenda and it seems to be from the conservative evangelical side. That’s not my background or experience, I’m a prog. mainline pastor. Doesn’t mean one is better than the other, it is what it is. What disturbs me more Donald is that you’re looking for is “tribal markers.” Do you believe like I do? Are you on my side? Are you safe? Stop it. It serves no purpose only to make you feel assured. When I say that Jesus is “King, Lord, Savior, and God” it means America is not. Cesar is not. I am indeed a Trinitarian, but I understand those who aren’t. What do you mean when you say those words?

    “Are you mixing the secular with the Divine and saying it equals Kingdom?”
    -This betrays your black and white thinking. God is everywhere and we’re called to find Christ in everyone, right? (Matthew 25:31-46) To serve the least? (Mark 9:33-37) How then, could there be any such thing as secular? There is no such thing as secular to a Christian, it’s all God. This division is exactly what Jesus argued about with the Pharisees is tribal markers like these things (Mark 7:1-23). “How do we know your disciples are really Jewish, Jesus, if they don’t wash their hands like we do?” I feel like this is what you’re asking in your questions. You could have stopped at “I liked this part.” Why continue on? What exactly are you looking for? What do you want me to say?
    Luke recently posted..Summer at the Sea

    • Luke,

      You said: “For prophets weren’t people who saw in the future, they were political activists who kept pointing to God when people lost sight.” At what point, aside from the governments of men rest upon His shoulders, does Jesus want anything to do with man’s politics, be they conservative or liberal? A prophet speaks to the Truth that is His Gospel, His Will, His Kingdom, and does not attempt to modify these things for the sake of political flavor or social persuasion. Prophets are immovable and inseparable from the Holiness of God, with Holiness being His “other than”. Prophets do not accommodate the politics of men for the sake of agreement. Prophets do not water-down His Judgment and His hatred of sin for the sake of a blog or for the rantings of a pulpit. Prophets know their Father’s voice, for prophets and all New Covenant citizens are as sons. And Jesus, being The Son, was and is the ultimate Father-pleaser, hence we should do likewise.

      What began as an honest dialogue has spiraled into name-calling on your part, and this saddens me. My agenda, if you will, is sonship. Not social activism tied-into politics. Jesus is after the hearts of men, not the governments of men. By your admission you are a progressive mainline pastor. Progressive means that you believe things evolve based on social changes. The Word, our Jesus, changes not, Luke. He does not need better PR. He does not need a face-lift to become more relevant to a lost and dying world that hates Him. He is perfect as He is. I am saddened by your ideals. I am.

      I believe this conversation is over. Thank you, all the same, for engaging in it as long as you did. Kind regards.
      Donald Borsch Jr recently posted..Post #10: Jesus and Politics part 2

  11. It was interesting for this atheist (former Christian) to read the exchanges between Donald and Luke. Well, interesting in how it illustrates the variety of ways “Christian” can be used. It shows that seeing someone as “Christian” or not is not enough. Our religious labels are often clothing for deeper views — our actual worldview. Believers use theology to try persuade others of their worldviews even though they have the same keywords: Jesus, faith, God, Bible ……

    It takes time to wade through the religion-talk to hear how different “fellow believers” can be. C.S. Lewis pointed this out once when he confessed that he felt far closer to many Buddhists than he did to many Christians. Thomas Merton felt the same. With this simple insight, I realized that what matters is deeper than religion — and stopped using theology or God-talk in relating to others. With that, my world expanded.
    Sabio Lantz recently posted..Good-Luck Religion

  12. Name calling?! Where?! Names I called myself? I am confused. ESP more so by your assumptions about me and my theology without any questions. So it goes when ones mind is already made up. Blessings.

  13. Love this. It’s weird because I work PT for a “mega” church and yet I’m really skeptical when it comes to church growth vs Church growth.

    I hear pastors (or bible college students) get hyper about planting churches and such and I’m like “Is that the best use of God’s resources? How much money is wasted on churches (not Churches) that are broken and should close their doors or never have opened in the first place?”

    It sounds contradictory, but there seems to be a tendency to over “spiritualize” church. As if prayer and a vague “calling” automatically trump reason and responsibility. As if it’s somehow wise to take a leap of faith without looking to see if you’re on the right cliff first.

    Thank you for going first and engaging in much needed conversations.

    P.S. Am I a terrible reader because I don’t even look at the other comments? :)
    ThatGuyKC recently posted..Desperate dinner disasters

  14. @Sabio: Just using what you taught me ;-)

    Totally with you save for the God talk. I still think that’s valuable, however when used in a tribal way, like we’ve just witnessed, there’s the dark side.
    Luke recently posted..Summer at the Sea

  15. @ Luke,
    Well, both of you boys are sure you know what God/Jesus meant and feel that if you just get the other to understand scripture like you do, then agreement is inevitable. I don’t think that is how believing actually works for most people. Since you both argue different gods, the god-talk looks really silly from the outside. Just imagine you saw a bunch of Hindus arguing over the interpretations over various puranas (stories of Krishna, perhaps) and relating it to different views of the Vedas. Then imagine all that between a politically rightist and politically leftist Hindu. You’d quickly see that all the Deva chatter was pretty beside the point and self-deceptive. Or not. Maybe you’d think that sort of conversation between Sunis and Shiites, Theravadans and Mahayanists and all that really is important. I’d rather they stop the god-talk and just talk to each other. But that will never happen, you are right.
    Sabio Lantz recently posted..Scientism & God: a meta-approach

  16. I wouldn’t be in such a fight. And when I find myself there, I work to be a peace maker or I just leave.
    Luke recently posted..Summer at the Sea

  17. @ Luke,
    Nah, I am sorry. I was imagining you born in that country and being one of those people and as vehemently arguing one version of the religion of your land with another believer who believes something very different from you.

    Imagining you a liberal Hindu or a liberal Muslim using their scriptures to make your point about what Krishna or Allah really meant.
    Sabio Lantz recently posted..Scientism & God: a meta-approach

  18. Well then, I would still be right. See? Easy!

    And when the physicists at my church start getting heated over concepts I don’t quite get, I don’t get in the middle either.

  19. Of course you would be right. Well, you’d still be religious — unless you were born in parts of Europe where atheism is the norm. And you’d still be politically left but righteous about it. Smile.
    Just my guess. I love giving my opinion on stuff that can never be proven wrong. You should try it some day!
    ;-) Good night
    Sabio Lantz recently posted..Scientism & God: a meta-approach

  20. As I read this post, I found myself saying repeatedly, “YES!”

    This is exactly how I have been viewing the Body of Christ for the past several years, since I found myself on the outs of the man-made institution I’d grown up within. The Church is not the “church.” Individual churches are typically man-made institutions, while the Church is a living organism birthed and sustained through Christ. I have left one; I have not left the other. As for those who believe I am no longer part of the Church, I say to them, you can pick your friends, but you’re stuck with your relatives. :)

    And just for the record, it’s not just Millennials leaving the churches. I’m in my mid-40s, and was a pastor. I know a lot of people at or near my age who have gone through a similar disenfranchisement with institutional Christianity. Thanks for this post.

  21. Hi there,

    Are you still correcting your site?

    I found 19 grammar mistakes.


  22. I love this. Thanks for stirring the discussion on this topic, because I think you’re spot-on.

  23. Loved this!

    As a pastor who spends his days doing “church” (little c) stuff, it took me a while to embrace the idea that there’s nothing sacred about the building. Further, there is absolutely no intrinsic value in going to “the house of God” on a Sunday morning. Amazing how the extrabiblical machinery of “church” has taken on a life of it’s own.

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