We’re back to the blog series, continuing today with Nicole Cottrell at Modern Reject. She writes one of my all time favorite blogs, she’s got some fantastic words to share with us and I’m really glad to be featuring her today.
If you had told me back when I was 16, just stretching my feminist wings for the first time, that soon I was to become a Christian and fall in love with a Man I had never before met, I would have called you a liar.
No one could have predicted that what I once held as law – women rule and are generally better, nicer, and plain cooler than men – would be radically challenged and uprooted in light of Christ. I couldn’t have seen it coming and yet, here I am, less of a free agent and more of a slave to a new law and under a new covenant.
What’s more, I could have never predicted that I would be willingly joining a group of people who are often quoted as saying all kinds of absurd things like “Wives have a responsibility to always look hot for their husbands,” or “Women are required to give their husbands sex whenever they want it.”
No. This couldn’t possibly be. No one who loves Jesus could actually make such claims with a straight face. It wasn’t possible. And yet…these ideas are prevalent within the church.
The Sheep and the Cattle
Slowly, however, as God does what it is that He does so well – pull us from where we’ve been and where comfort resides only to drop us smack in the middle of the opposite. And one day, I looked up and realized that I was no longer the young, naive, “grrrllll power” person I used to be.
No longer was I so certain that while the Bible doesn’t tell us that we owe our husbands sex, there is still something sacred and sweet, honorable and humble in saying “yes” to our husbands even when we might rather say “no.” No longer was I certain that while beauty is fleeting, as scripture tells us, putting on lipstick before my husband comes home is neither a sin nor a virtue, but rather, the way that I have chosen to bless and to to serve him.
And if following after Christ for the last 15 years has taught me anything, it is that despite our quickness to box Him in, tag him, label Him, and package Him, He never, ever does the same with us. Jesus is not interested in cattle, but His sheep. He is not trying to pin us down and define us, nor is He wanting to make us all look like one another.
No. He is interested in us looking more like Him. “Little Christs,” as C.S. Lewis call us.
Cake, Lip Gloss and High Heels
So when I see one woman up in arms because the church has offended her by saying that women shouldn’t gain 20 pounds after marriage, while I sympathize, I also think to myself ”Well, I don’t want to gain 20 pounds. Is that wrong?” I don’t want to be made to feel like a traitor to my gender if I desire to lose weight. I don’t want to fight the battle of feminism versus Christianity or feel forced to label myself a “feminist Christian” just because I don women’s anatomy.
Because really, Jesus never would. He would never condemn me for slapping on lip gloss, or buying high heels because they make my husband smile, or for waving my hand in opposition to the really delicious looking piece of chocolate cake because God knows it goes right to my hips.
I will not be made a villain for maintaining my waistline or for hungrily saying yes to sex with my husband.
After it’s all said and done, I serve an intimate and personal God, who thankfully deals with us intimately and personally. What constitutes serving in my household may not in another. Where the Spirit has led me in regards to ideas on sex, beauty, and womanhood may not be the exact same as another’s. For that, I rejoice. My womanhood stands as my own and I think Jesus is okay with that.
Is there a struggle between Christianity and feminism that is actually a double edged sword? Tell us what you think, and then go read Modern Reject.