You know, sometimes we get so caught up with celebrity personalities, we forget to notice the little guy.
There they are, plugging away, fighting the good fight, and no one seems to pay attention.
Today, I want to correct that. Because while there are the big guys like Rob and Mark and Pat kicking hornet’s nests, there are plenty of other guys who deserve their time in the sun.
I don’t usually single people out, but today, I want to celebrate Pastor Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church, an Independent Fundamental Baptist congregation that meets in a classroom-sized space in a strip mall. Many of you have watched him on YouTube preach with godly ferocity about the importance of wearing pants or urinating while standing (for men) or the evils of painkillers during childbirth (for women). If you don’t know this guy, then you are missing out. His star is rising, with every appearance on local news and getting tased by hecklers.
I’ve compiled a “best of” list of some of Pastor Anderson’s most inspirational quotes, a tribute, a salute, if you will.
And maybe you can help me figure out just what it is with fundamentalist preachers.
The “Best of” the Pastor’s Sermons
This is it. If you need to bone up on your Anderson-isms, this quick list will baptize you with the fire of his convictions:
“Only the King James version says this. God said a man is someone who pisseth against the wall.”
“I hate Barack Obama. Well, you say ‘you don’t like what he stands for.’ No, I hate him! I’m going to prove from the Bible why I should hate Barack Obama, why God wants me to hate Barack Obama, why God hates Barack Obama.”
“I hate homosexuals. I think they are all deviants and predators. Every homosexual I’ve ever known was a deviant and a predator. At my Christian high school, there were gays, believe it or not, and they’d all try to come on to everybody.”
And the classic:
“Many people today have the idea that Jesus Christ while he was on this earth had long hair and wore clothing that looked like a dress. The reason for this is that…Sodomite homosexuals such as Michelangelo painted Jesus to look effeminate and to have long hair in order to make him fit their own queer image.
Some have even made utterly ridiculous and bizarre statements such as, ‘pants had not been invented yet,’ or According to these ‘scholars,’ the men of the past who built the pyramids and Stonehenge just hadn’t thought of pants yet!
What I believe is based upon the Bible, not ‘historical evidence,’ but the historical record also proves that men in the ancient Middle East wore pants. The Bible uses the word ‘breeches’ to refer to pants. Our modern day spelling of this word is ‘britches,’ such as in the expression, ‘he is a little too big for his britches.'”
You can watch the pastor’s pants sermon here.
What Is It with Fundamentalists?
Now, pastor Anderson is just one guy. One of an unnumbered crowd of fundamentalist pastors and church members. And I just don’t have a lot of person contact with fundamentalists, so maybe you can help me with some of these questions I have:
What is “Fundamental?”
It amazes me how much time fundamentalists spend talking about topics that I can only consider to be anything but “fundamental” to faith. Pants? Pain Killers? What do they mean by “fundamentalist?”
We Don’t Need No Education
Pastor Anderson boasts on the church’s website that he “holds no college degree.” But wait! He has “over 140 chapters of the Bible memorized, word for word.” So he’s just educated enough to be dangerous? Hell, the guy says that Bible college is unscriptural and wrong! We live in a time when ignorance is celebrated and education is derided by reality stars and pastors alike. Meanwhile, most of us hold stronger beliefs than ever, while knowing less about the world than ever, despite unprecedented access to information. How did we get here?
Take Three Times a Week
Pastor Anderson is a relic from a bygone era when people attended church on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights and Wednesday nights. I cannot imagine any pastor who was able to compose three meaningful sermons every week. Almost as impossible to imagine is a congregation that wants to hear the same man three times a week.
Tell me what you think. Anyone come from any fundamental churches? What am I missing? How do these churches keep on attracting people?