Okay, I’ve got to say this.
Because there’s a new book about marriage, and no one would care about it except that Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, wrote it. And, as with all things Driscoll-related, Real Marriage is controversial.
On one side, you have Christian feminists who are harping on the book for attempting to return to pre-feminism “1950s” America, where women stayed home, wore pearls, and were “owned” by their husbands.
On the other side…well, I haven’t heard anyone actually defend the book. I mean, come on, Grace used Esther as a supreme example of a wife’s duty to submit to her husband? A girl in a king’s harem isn’t exactly the strongest case for wifely submission.
I’m not going to review the book. But I am going to make this really easy to understand for the Christian feminists and the men who love them out there.
We do need to go back to “1950s” “pre-feminism” marriage.
And if that’s got you all hot and bothered under your housedress, just keep reading.
Wives, Submit to Your Husbands
Here is a fact: the Bible doesn’t say a whole lot about marriage. At least, not enough to write a book about it, without a lot of interpretation.
It’s just got a few verses, one of which, no post-feminism chica really wants to hear, much less try to follow. That old chestnut about “submitting.” Just that word makes teeth gnash and bras spontaneously combust.
Stop treating him like a freakin idiot.
It’s so fashionable, it’s hard to even notice. How many commercials feature hapless husbands and women who run the show? You’d think men couldn’t wipe themselves without their wives’ instructions. The typical TV family isn’t father knows best anymore. On the most popular shows, like Family Guy and Modern Family, dad is a witless boob.
Girls, your husband is much smarter than the caricatures on TV. So do your best to encourage him, build him up, avoid the sass talk. If you tear him down, he will shut down, take less initiative, making you more unhappy with him.
And stop gossiping with your girlfriends behind his back about how stupid he is. Hen houses can be toxic places for wives. If the other girls are complaining about their idiot husbands, brag on yours, and don’t tell them it’s because you trained him so well.
Husbands, Love Your Wives
TV really isn’t any kinder to wives. While most husbands are buffoons, wives still get treated like the old ball and chain. Unmarried guys imagine that marriage is some kind of prison sentence. So young guys are typically avoiding marriage to extend their “college” years of male roommates, partying and sustaining themselves on a steady diet of porn and ramen.
Guess what guys, marriage isn’t a prison. How is going home to a woman who has your back no matter what a prison sentence?
So stop fantasizing about all the “freedom” you’ve given up. What would you do with your singleness if you had it back? Do you really think skanky hot chicks would be crawling all over you? Get real. You’d be sitting on your fat butt playing video games in clothes you haven’t washed in weeks.
If you want your wife to stop treating you like a child, then stop acting like one, and be a man she can love as her equal. Be worthy of her respect, so you don’t have to demand it. Be such a good husband to her that she’ll gladly submit to you. It will come as a relief to her to realize she isn’t the only adult in the house.
Real Marriage in the 1950s
The 1950s was by no means a perfect time for marriages. But…
Did men stick around to support their wives and kids? Damn right, they did.
Did women make their husbands feel respected and their kids feel loved? Sure thing.
Did men and women love each other? Hell yes. That’s why they’re still married.
So that means that the couples in the 50s had real marriages. So you can just trash that cartoon version of the 50s you keep in your head as an excuse why we should never go back. Those people had to have gotten something right.
Well, what do you think? What makes a “real” marriage? How do you define “submission” and “love?” What do you think modern marriages are missing?