If you’ve had any media exposure over the last 48 hours, you already know…
…and already don’t care…
I know, I know, it’s big news when two people who are so important make a mini-version of themselves. But after the news of the hospital ward where the delivery was made, and the baby’s…name, the news on my radio was about the cash the couple spent to outfit the nursery.
So the happy couple has a $20,000 crib, a solid gold rocking horse, and one baby who doesn’t give a crap. Well, it does give a crap, but not about the crib or the horse. And you know what? Even $20,000 cribs get crapped on. No one can have nice things when a kid is involved.
I’ve got a question for all you really, really, ridiculously wealthy people out there who read my blog. I know, there’s a lot of you, because that’s how really rich people start their days – by reading my blog. The rest of you, don’t worry, you can participate too.
Here’s my question for all the rich people out there…
Are You Embarrassed?
See, the people I know spend a lot of time being embarrassed by other people.
Christians are really prone to embarrassment. I think we’re embarrassed by no fewer than half of all other Christians. The televangelists embarrass us. The hotheaded pastors embarrass us. The guy with too many Jesus bumper stickers embarrasses us. The guy trying to pass out tracts on the street embarrasses us. Tim Tebow even embarrasses some of us. I mean, everything is Jesus-this and Jesus-that, and we don’t want people to think that we care that much about Jesus.
Do other groups get this embarrassed about their own?
Am I Embarrassing White Middle Class Men?
Fabulously wealthy people and/or platinum selling singer-songwriters: are you embarrassed by Beyonce’s and Jay-Z’s ridiculously frivolous show of wealth? Are you afraid that people are going to think you are materialistic and try to make up for bad parenting by spoiling your child because of them?
Upper middle class people: are you embarrassed by the large tracts of tasteless, tacky McMansions that your friends buy?
Poor people: are you embarrassed by that dirty homeless guy on the street? He’s taking poverty to the extreme.
Health nuts: are you embarrassed by the guys on the covers of muscle magazines who look like the Incredible Hulk? Aren’t you afraid that people will think your brain and genitals are shriveled from steroid abuse too?
Hippies: are you embarrassed by your unshaven, pot smoking, unemployed bretheren?
Bloggers: are you embarrassed by the inane drivel that gushes from 99% of blogs?
I could go on…whatever group you belong to, are you embarrassed by your kin?
No One Is Mistaking You for Tim Tebow
If you ask me, Christians spend way too much time being embarrassed by other people. I am telling you, I have never introduced myself to someone, told them I am a Christian, and they said, “Oh, like Joel Osteen?” No one has ever associated me with Johnny Depp’s terrible movies, despite the fact that I am a very handsome man, like he is.
Billionaire rappers everywhere are not embarrassed by Beyonce and Jay-Z, any more than stock traders are embarrassed by Bernie Madoff. If we should be embarrassed about something, it’s that, essentially, we all paid for that baby’s crib and gold horse, one iTunes download at a time. Great way to spend our money, everyone.
Trust me, no one will mistake you for Tim Tebow if you don’t want them to. All you have to do is keep being embarrassed about other peoples’ behavior. All you have to do is keep saying, “I’m not with him.” All you have to do is keep your head down and make sure no one notices you. How ridiculous that everyone can feel free to be brash about their wealth, their politics, their idiotic beliefs about everything, but we constantly are afraid of what the other Christians are going to say.
If your friends are judging you based on what other people say and do, then your friends are narrow minded dolts.
What say you? Have we been tricked into thinking everyone out there is painting us all with a broad brush? Or do we have a duty to not embarrass our fellow Christians?