Three Random Confessions

October 21, 2011

You know, I’m not Catholic…

…But I can see how the tradition of confession has its benefits.  But I’m not going to confess all my deep, dark sins to you today.  That would just use up a bunch of blog posts all in one shot, wouldn’t it?

But in the spirit of confession, and having some weird fun on Friday, I will make three random confessions to you right now about myself.  Read on, and then make a random confession of your own!

Here we go…

What Makes My Skin Crawl?

There are a lot of things that make my skin crawl.  But more than bugs or snakes or hippies, there is one thing that I cannot tolerate in my home.

I can’t stand the little ring of milk that gets stuck in the spoon when someone’s finished a bowl of cereal.  Or the little ring of milk that gets stuck in the bottom of a glass.  No, no, no.  It has to go, immediately.  It’s bothered me since I was a child.  As an eight-year-old, I would rinse out cereal bowls that other family members had left on the kitchen counter.

Best prank ever: my college roommate littered our apartment with every spoon we owned, each with its own tiny ring of milk.  Of course, he was just getting me back for covering the apartment with tiny post it notes, each with the word “moist” on them.

At the Movies

I consider myself pretty good with quoting movies.  In fact, my wife now believes that every clever thing that comes out of my mouth must be a quote from a hilarious movie.  (She doesn’t believe I could be so clever and amusing on my own.)  But my new strategy is to just rattle off movie quotes and deny they are from any movie.

But, in my wife I have truly met my match.  I can flip around channels, and land on any random movie from more than twenty years ago, and in all likelihood, I have not even seen it before.  But I simply look to my wife sitting next to me, and within mere moments of seeing a Kilmer or Van Damme, she’ll be able to identify the movie, leaving me feeling like a pop culture rube, and sort of a failure to guy-dom.

Hate That Tune

Just about everyone “loves” music, though when people ask you what kind of music you love, you probably just say, “all kinds of music!”

Not me.  Not only am I tone deaf, but I actually do not like most music that crosses my ears.  Even musicians that I like, I only like about 10% of their catalogs.

I used to assume that I have bad taste in music.  I would not suggest music in car rides or let others listen to my iPod.  I guess that’s a carryover from junior high when people actually were judged by the kinds of music they listened to.  But I have now come to consider myself a music hater, a connoisseur of melodies and rhythms that are repugnant to me….

…even Adele.  Everyone loves her…I don’t.  Not a bit.

I think the worst song that has ever pierced my eardrums has to be this commercial.  If you have not already been scarred by it, then I warn you, some things can not be unheard.  The screeching of the female vocalist will haunt you for days.

Whew.  Glad to get that off my chest.  I just had to tell someone I don’t like Adele, or I was going to bust!  Okay, tell us one thing about yourself, some weird thing you like, don’t like, some unusual habit, or something about yourself that just would never come up normally in polite conversation.

46 responses to Three Random Confessions

  1. If the song that plays in that commercial wasn’t annoying enough on its own (I like Melanie otherwise), there’s the added weirdness of playing a song well-known for its innuendo over footage of a baby.

    • I can’t even listen to the lyrics for any innuendo. The first time I saw this commercial, it got stuck in my head for days. I had to start immediately changing channels whenever it would come on after that. It’s like a virus.

  2. I hate anything in the sink. It’s in my OCD nature to just wash whatever is in there at the moment. My wife can be annoying because she’ll use like 38 cups a day and perfectly place them in the sink so you can’t put anything else in the sink.

    I also have a system when cooking. I cook and clean dishes as I go, i.e. if I use a strainer for some egg noodles, I strain it, then put the noodles back in the pot on the stove and then wash the strainer, dry it and put it away in the cupboard. I mainly do this so at the end it doesn’t look like Thanksgiving just happened at the house. This happens at my in laws a lot and I feel an obligation to help clean if they’ve made a meal but I hate their system. But then again, that’s another confession on my lack of patience lol.

    nicodemusatnite.com

  3. I hate stickers. They make me nervous stuck to anything except paper. Ribbons and tiny bows too, unless they are securely sewn or glued to something. They make me gag and I imagine choking on them. It doesn’t help that I have a two year old girl who often does put things like these in her mouth. It makes me insane.

  4. I was thinking clutter. I hate clutter. Then it might have been Hip-Hop. Blech! But the winner is Rush Hour: It just sucks! And after 5 years in Boston, I am a poster child for road rage. I flip people off in Jesus’ name. I think it’s time for a change. Then I could go back to haoting Hip-Hop.

    Happy Friday, Matt.

  5. Geezer Alert!

    I’m only 40 but I’m afraid it’s happening. Lights! If you aren’t in the room why are the lights on? Same thing for your stereo, tv, etc. Sometimes it seems like I spend time going around behind my family turning lights and other things off. It ain’t free ya know!!

    Ok, I’m better… 😀

    • I do the same thing with my wife! I warned her that she was going to turn me into one of “those husbands” if she doesn’t learn how to work a light switch by herself. Must be something on the Y chromosome.

      • I put in motion timers; if there is no motion in a room for 10 minutes, it shuts off. In one entry rooms (IE: the bathroom), it turns on for 10 unless you hit the switch to keep it on. Just one conversation we don’t need to have ever again.

        I put door closers on the kitchen cabinets too. Saved again.

  6. Wow. My husband says I am OCD about a lot of things but as soon I got here to make my confession, my mind went blank. I don’t know if that is a defense mechanism to keep me from telling you stuff or if I just have performance anxiety! :)

    I will confess that I don’t know who Adele is. I don’t listen to the radio. I think it was the mid-2000s where a lot of music came out that seemed whiny, and I just couldn’t take it, so I stopped listening.

    Maybe that is my confession. I hate listening to whiny male singers. I think Perry Farrell (Jane’s Addiction) and that Billy guy from Smashing Pumpkins need to have their vocal chords removed. And all these other guys who can talk normal but start whining when they sing – MAN UP already! If I want to hear that kind of noise, I’ll sign up to take care of the 3-year-olds’ class at church. Grow some chest hair, get rid of those skinny jeans and that girly scarf around your neck, and stop acting like androgyny is something “enlightened” people should desire. AND GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

    um… in Jesus name, Amen.

  7. I have never seen “Dirty Dancing” or “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” nor have I sat through “The Breakfast Club” all the way through. Apparently, this makes me a traitor to my generation.

  8. I do not like paintings by “artist” Thomas Kinkade. Maybe I’m not a real Christian.

  9. The Thomas Kinkade comment made me laugh. I heard one person comment on in years ago, “I don’t like thoughtless art.” Maybe you’re just a different kind of Christian. Back on topic now…

    So my confession… I secretly love Married With Children. That show always makes me giggle and I love Ed O’Neil and Katy Sagal in it. The saving grace is they never cheated on each other and always stuck together.

  10. Full length cartoon movies…especially from Disney – never watched one of them, never will. Cartoons are supposed to be free!! Animal movies…animals should be eaten not starring in movies. Poodles…if you want a dog get a REAL dog!!

    I here ya on this post.

    My secret desire is to be Pastor Clint Eastwood…a black version of him. There is no hope for me is there? “Go ahead and make my day…do you feel lucky? Well, do ya….punk” What every church member needs to hear!!

  11. Matt, Matt, Matt…not liking music…that’s just sad. I listen to the radio from 5:15 AM until I get out of my car around 4 PM. Commercials? I love most of them more than television programs.

  12. Personally, I like long lines at the grocery store because it gives me a chance to get caught up on People and Us magazines that I wouldn’t actually buy.

    I dislike it when my husband tells me, “You should probably get ready.” We’ve been married for 15 years and for 15 years, he knows that I relax until the last possible minute and then I hurry to shower and get ready. We’re never late but he doesn’t like the stress my schedule causes him.

  13. In most polite conversation I cannot say that I don’t like cats or dogs. And I especially don’t like your pet if your pet likes me. It makes normally non-violent me, suddenly have all kinds of violent thoughts about you and/or your pet when they jump/climb/crawl on me and all you do is smile and say, “Isn’t he/she cute?”

    Geesh, I feel better now … thanks!

    • I love that. I hate it when people encourage my dogs to do things we’ve trained them not to do. I don’t like yelling at the dogs in front of others.

    • And how about those annoying dogs who put their nose in your crotch while their owners look on? And the pooping dogs in the park? Why do dog owners think it is their right to allow their animal to poop everywhere? I am a bitter man….

  14. It drives me crazy when people talk on their cell phones in public places–at a restaurant, at the store, wherever. The worst is in a restroom.

    Same goes for texting, but that is a bit less annoying to me. At least I don’t have to hear it.

    I know next-to-nothing about pop music. I’d never heard of Adele–I had to go look her up just to know what you were talking about.

  15. I hate Dr. Phil. I think he may be the devil for real.

  16. Crap in chairs. A chair is to sit in. Put the junk in the floor, on a shelf, on the front porch but for goodness sake not in a chair. And you double my angst when the chair is then slid back under the table hiding its contents. AAAAHHHH.

    Sour clothes. Not dirty just clothes that sat in the washing machine a little to long and smell funk-a-licious. You don’t notice it until you have worn the item long enough for your body heat to cranks up the volume of your funkwear. The machine has an alarm just hang it or put it in the dryer when it’s finished.

  17. My husband is completely tone-deaf. I’ve always asked him, “can you hear music?” He says yes, but I don’t think he hears what I hear. btw, I didn’t think these were sins. :)

  18. I’m so glad someone else hates milk rings and verbalizes their hatred for milk rings. Thank you.

    I also really hate glitter. You can stand twenty feet away from an arts and crafts table or a girl with nasty glitter-infested eyes and it’ll still inevitably speckle your body in the most awkward places.

  19. My brothers and I quote movies, too. All the time. And like you said, people are convinced we’re just the wittiest folks around until we tell them it’s not our own.
    And then, when I actually do say something absolutely original that is genuinely funny (even to others, not just me!), what’s their first question? Yep: “What movie is that from?” Heavy sigh.
    I hate having a bunch of icons on my computer’s desktop. I literally have three important ones; everything else is tucked nicely away in subfolders. Pictures by date, documents by subject. Oh yeah.

  20. Awesome confessions. I’m a movie quoting guy too and it drives my wife crazy. She can’t remember whole movies we’ve gone out and seen together.

    I’m absolutely terrified of moths. I’ll kill spiders and other various bugs barehanded, but moths scare me senseless.

  21. Haha, my fiance totally asks me “what’s that from?” when I say something clever.

    I can make it up on my own too!

  22. I usually pride myself in having pretty good taste in music. I often listen to stuff none of my friends have heard of and sometimes am into indie-pop so obscure i have to order the CDs from overseas. However, I confess I also have a stash of really trashy music. When I’m home alone, I sometimes turn up Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5

  23. 100% agree on Adele. Seriously, can no one else hear that she absolutely is NOT saying words? Listen to the song; she’s not saying “Rollin’ in the deep”, she’s saying “Oden in the deep.” For. Reals. And it feels like she’s doing it on purpose. That’s what really gets me.

  24. I am not a germaphobe and can handle a certain level of uncleanliness, but one time, when one of my kids cleaned the bathroom sink and countertop with the same rag they used to clean the toilet, I totally lost it in a “No wire hangers” (“Mommie Dearest”) kind of way. My husband doesn’t understand it, but I could just see the toilet germs crawling to my toothbrush.

    I also feel many times as a homeschooling mom as the blind leading the blind, though the way I couch it to my kids is that we are learning together.

    I love ABBA, Neil Diamond and Wham, though I know I shouldn’t, especially WHAM