Well, someone’s got some explaining to do.
It’s Monday, and we’re all still here. Harold Camping is out $100 million on his campaign. Other people sold themselves out completely and now feel like a bunch of rubes. I have not seen a more hyped end-of-the-world campaign than this one.
And so, Mr. Camping joins the ranks of Tom Cruise, Rosie O’Donnell, and all the other famous people who didn’t get off their soap box before completely making fools of themselves. An apology would be nice too.
In a few weeks, we’ll forget all about Family Radio…if Harold Camping does the right thing and never speaks in public again. And it gives me the opportunity today to celebrate a few other famous people who need to shut their talk holes before they wear out their welcome. Harold Camping kicks off the list at fifth place. Let’s see who rounds out the top five…
#4. Jimmy Carter
I have never seen a former President talk as much as President Peanut Farmer does. Does he not know it’s bad form for an ex-Pres. to publicly criticize the current one? Yet he makes it his business to chime in on politics and criticize on a regular basis. He even goes on little fact finding scavenger hunts around the world, probably given to him by the government to keep him out of their way. How can a man whose administration was defined by gas shortages, cardigan sweaters, and malaise speak with any authority? His constant presence only serves to remind people why he was so soundly rejected.
#3. Cameron Diaz
Cameron Diaz must be a genius sociologist or a psychic or something, because she recently made the broad cultural declaration that marriage is a “dying institution,” and our culture shouldn’t be bound by “old traditions that don’t make sense anymore.” Just days later, CNN reported that divorce rates continue to fall in America. Sometimes, it’s just too easy when celebrities shoot their mouths off, especially when there are facts and logic involved.
But, you know, everyone’s coming from a different perspective. Cameron Diaz’s perspective for instance, is that of a 38 year old never married, twice engaged woman who has had no relationships since 1995 that have lasted more than three years, and who admits that she “can barely speak English properly.” So she’s a great authority on the future of the oldest human institution on Earth.
#2. Joe Biden
During the presidential campaign, Joe Biden released his tax records for the last decade, I guess to show that he really does pay taxes. What he wasn’t counting on was people taking notice of his charitable giving records. For a man whose income ranges from $200,000 to $300,000, what would you guess he gives? Thousands? Tens of thousands of dollars? Try a couple hundred dollars, less than 1%, oftentimes just a tenth of that. It’s the kind of embarrassing chump change that would insult any charity, and his giving while in office hasn’t increased. This is a man who is supposed to a bleeding-heart liberal Catholic. It just goes to show, there’s a lot of politicians who are so very generous, compassionate, and sympathetic toward the downtrodden…when they’re playing with someone else’s money.
#1. Stephen Hawking
Stephen Hawking is a brilliant man, and his work has done a lot for our understanding of the universe. And he’s an atheist. I don’t know what’s led him to that conclusion, but it’s not the only reason I’m glad I’m not Stephen Hawking.
But when he recently said the idea of heaven was a “fairy story for people afraid of the dark,” he wasn’t just declaring his lack of faith. He revealed his deep-seated contempt for most of humanity itself. He regards most of us as stupid people who are “afraid,” or cowardly. He considers you a “child,” because only children are afraid of the dark, and fairy stories are for children. It’s not just that Hawking disagrees with you. He doesn’t respect you or your beliefs, and he’s probably extremely frustrated that even his level of genius and understanding cannot prove you wrong.
Your turn! What other actors, athletes or academics, need to quit the preaching, pontificating, and predicting?