Confession time: I’m a bit of a major, big time, socially awkward introvert.

My wife thinks I’m a very social person.  I have her convinced I’m a raving extrovert.

The truth is, I was a very shy, quiet kid…and I still am.  My wife doesn’t believe that, but it’s the truth.  I’m still a rabidly anti-social introvert.

There are tons of books and websites out there claiming to reveal the secrets for introverts to become extroverted.  I think they’re full of it.  I don’t think you can become an extrovert.  The fact is, I look at a lot of extroverts, and I don’t want to be like them!  I’m not an extrovert, and I never will be…

…But I did learn how to fake it, to pretend to be an extrovert.  See, it just doesn’t pay to be an introverted pastor or teacher or just about anything else.  So I learned how to be an actor in a world overrun with social butterflies.

I’m still learning, but it’s easier than you think.  Come with me, fellow anti-socialites, and you too, talkie!  You might learn a thing or two about being a real extrovert from a real introvert’s perspective.

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The Bible was supposed to guarantee it.

I promise I’m not talking about Harold Camping again.  But he said the Bible “guarantees” that May 21st was the day of judgement.  Now, those billboards all over the country stand there, making the Bible out to be a liar.  If I were the Bible, I’d sue Harold Camping for defamation of character.

The good thing about this whole fiasco is it almost got everyone’s minds off of the whole heaven and hell debate…almost.  I don’t think that one’s going away any time soon.  In fact, I think the fight over hell is just heating up.

Judgement Day, heaven and hell, it’s all just part of a two-thousand year argument people have had about how trustworthy the Bible is (or how trustworthy are we with it).  The result of that debate?   Words like “inerrancy” have become like fighting words for evangelicals.  Words like “allegory” are like the worst sort of curse words.

Harold Camping believed the Bible guaranteed May 21 was the day.  It makes me wonder, just how can we know what the Bible guarantees…

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Well, someone’s got some explaining to do.

It’s Monday, and we’re all still here.  Harold Camping is out $100 million on his campaign.  Other people sold themselves out completely and now feel like a bunch of rubes.  I have not seen a more hyped end-of-the-world campaign than this one.

And so, Mr. Camping joins the ranks of Tom Cruise, Rosie O’Donnell, and all the other famous people who didn’t get off their soap box before completely making fools of themselves.  An apology would be nice too.

In a few weeks, we’ll forget all about Family Radio…if Harold Camping does the right thing and never speaks in public again.  And it gives me the opportunity today to celebrate a few other famous people who need to shut their talk holes before they wear out their welcome.  Harold Camping kicks off the list at fifth place.  Let’s see who rounds out the top five…

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Well, we’re just a day away from the BIG one.

Yep, Jesus is coming back on Saturday.  Be sure to set your Tivo.

It’s not really worth making fun of the people at Family Radio who believe the Bible “guarantees”  Saturday is the day of Christ’s return, though I learned why Saturday is the “guaranteed” day.  Supposedly, Noah had seven days to warn people about the flood. (I thought he had, like, 40 years while he was building the ark, but whatever.)  And then they skip all the way over to 2 Peter where he says that with the Lord, a “day is like a thousand years.”  Since they know the exact day of the flood (by counting the generations in Genesis), they presume that Christ will come back 7,000 years after the flood, which is tomorrow.  That’s it in a nutshell.  Not exactly Google’s algorithm, but it’ll do.

You know, whether Jesus is coming back tomorrow or not, our lives are literally hanging by a thread already.  We could get hit by a meteor at any time.  The magnetic field of the earth is way overdue to reverse.  Anything could happen in the twinkling of an eye, and it’s all over.

So this weekend, I’m thinking about what I’d do if I really believed my time here was very limited…besides build a bomb shelter.

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None of you probably think you own your church.

My dad has been a pastor for most of my life.  When I was a teenager, my dad planted the second church of his career.  I also put in a lot of effort over the years to make things happen.  I was easily among the top two hardest working laypeople in the church.

When I was in college, I started working as a youth pastor, and I decided I should go to seminary.  Now I’m a pastor, with a real big-boy college degree!  Now, my dad and I cooperate as pastors, though his ministry and my ministry are on very divergent paths.  I never minded being a pastor’s kid, and I still don’t mind having my old man around at church.  He taught me what it means to be a pastor.

But I will tell you the one thing I have absolutely detested about being a layperson, and a pastor working with another pastor.  A few weeks ago, I posted about the church owning your pastor.  But maybe the opposite is true at your church…

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Well, it’s Monday again, and…what’s this?  Another video featuring me?

A couple of weeks ago, I participated in a video panel discussion with Tim O’Donnell, who you may remember I featured a couple of months ago with his book, A View From the Back Pew.  We talked about the cultural phenomenon of people calling themselves “Spiritual but not Religious,” among other topics.  Tim was the “Spiritual but not Religious” voice.  I represented the “Religious but Outside the Mainstream Church” voice as a house church pastor.  We were joined by a pastor from Michigan, Bob Cornwall, who represented “institutional” Christianity.  And Evita Ochel, who writes Evolving Beings moderated for us.

The video is, needless to say, awesome, but pretty long at an hour, and you can watch it if you like.  Fast forward to about the 13 minute mark and watch for a couple of minutes to see my comments on the spiritual but not religious phenomenon.

If you don’t want to watch, you don’t have to miss out.  Let me tell you why I think so many people are calling themselves “Spiritual but not Religious.”

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