A Woman Is Running Your Church

April 6, 2011

Among many of the more conservative wings of Christianity, the debate goes on about women in leadership.

Many of these churches claim to take Paul at his word when he says he doesn’t allow a woman to speak in church.  That means that women still can’t be pastors or elders in a lot of churches, much to the frustration of many women.

Meanwhile, lots of pastors continue to plaster their smiling faces on church mailers and billboards with their wives, who inexplicably call themselves “co-pastor.”

I’ve got a clue for all the churches out there who are still trying to kick it old school and keep women out of leadership, as well as the churches that hire two pastors that happen to be married.

Co-Pastor Co-Owners

First of all, let me say this: I can’t stand so-called “co-pastor” couples.  You know these husband-wife pastor duos.  They’re like a preaching-singing-comedy-vaudeville team.  They play off each other as one preaches and the other leads the choir, or some such thing.  I get a strong suspici0n that many of these couples secretly work on a stage act that they hope to take to Branson, Missouri someday.

Why do these couples grind my gears?  Because what are the odds that two people are called to pastor the same church, and well isn’t that convenient, they just happen to be married?  Guess what.  A church is not an Emmy Award winning Pastor’s Family Variety Hour.  If the only person a pastor can work with is his wife, there’s a problem.  You know how tough church committees can be to negotiate?  Now imagine that the church committee has only two members, and those members are sleeping together, (or fighting about why they aren’t sleeping together), and tell me that’s a recipe for success.

There are literally no other jobs where husbands and wives can be hired to “tag team” it.  Are there “co-teachers?”  How about “co-doctors?”  Sounds idiotic, doesn’t it?  The only thing that couples can be is “co-owners” of a business.  That’s why churches that hire “co-pastors” will find themselves with co-owners.

The Woman is Calling the Shots

I say all that to say this to the churches that are on the other end of the spectrum, resisting women in leadership.  You know who you are.  You elect men to be “elders” and women to be “deacons” because “deacons” are in charge of the nursery.  Better think twice about letting women be in charge of children’s church.  You never know if there’s a future pastor in Sunday School, and I’d hate to think that you put a woman in authority over him.

Now, are you Catholic?  No?  Is your pastor married?  Yes?  Then you have a woman in leadership.

A woman doesn’t have to be a “co-pastor” with her husband, or lead the singing, or bleach her teeth to have the most important church leadership job around.  Her job is to be the pastor’s wife.

You know the saying “behind every great man, there’s a great woman,” right?  It’s true (and so is the reverse).  Every church with a great pastor probably has a woman is giving some wifely guidance to her husband.  She’s going to be the one that your pastor counsels with first, and most often.  Her opinion is the one he’s going to take most seriously.  If you don’t think your pastor’s wife has anything to do with the direction your church is going, then you have never been married.

It’s not because women are controlling by nature.  It’s because men in healthy marriages look to their wives first for approval, answers, and support, and it’s her job to give those to him.  A pastor’s wife has the unique place of seeing her husband at work, and I guarantee any pastor cares first about what his wife thinks of the job he’s doing.  Plus, she’s meeting…”needs”…that no church committee can, and that commands a certain amount of loyalty.

What do you think?  Are “co-pastors” legit, or even biblical?  What about all the other women?  What place to women have in your church?

58 responses to A Woman Is Running Your Church

  1. Hi Matt,

    I’ve got nothing to say on this one.

    But, you might want to finish that line you quoted:

    As I’ve heard it, “Behind every great man, there’s a great woman telling him he’s wrong”.

    John

  2. Well, our church which was planted 22 years ago, has just voted in our fourth senior pastor (the other three got called by God elsewhere – another church plant, Compassion Aust, Malawi Africa). Each pastor has had different gifts and leadership styles, and each pastor’s wife has contributed in different ways. The first stayed out of the limelight, but is a great support to her husband and was great on the hospitality (we grew out of a home bible study and began with about 30 members, we now have about 350 come to church regularly); the second wife had a heart for women and was instrumental in organising camps and ministry times for women; the third was a Tabor Bible College lecturer and an excellent preacher, she shared preaching duty with her husband and the ass pastor and a couple of the elders. The wife of our new pastor is a counselor and I look forward to seeing what God is going to do in the future with our part of the body.

    But co-pastors? I’m not too sure how that would work. Would they share the glory and the blame equally? Or would one be the scapegoat? That’s a hard question there Matt.

  3. Ha ha! I always thought the “co-pastor” thing was a way for the church to say, “We’re cheap! We hire the husband and the wife has to work for FREE!” Those are pretty much the expectations, you know, and unless the wife is drawing a salary, the “co-pastor” title is just that.
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  4. Jeremy @ ConfessionsofaLegalist April 6, 2011 at 6:39 am

    This could completely undermine your entire argument, bit I know a couple who co-doctor. They are both orthopedic surgeons. If you make an appointment, though, you don’t see both, just one since they specialize in different areas. Actually they have been trying to get s third person to join their practice for a long time without any success, so maybe this does support what you are saying.
    Jeremy @ ConfessionsofaLegalist recently posted..Eat breakfast like Jesus

    • That is pretty cool. I’ve known plenty of couples that work together, but like the two you’re talking about, their jobs don’t really overlap. I don’t know how going to work with my wife would turn out. :) Probably not good.

    • We have a family practice in town where the doctors are husband and wife. When you make an appointment, you can opt to see either one. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing, but it certainly works for them. Likewise, I go to a dentist who works with his brother, and you can see either one. They must have had a good relationship growing up to be able to see each other every day without going nutty!
      But concerning your comment on co-pastors… yes, I agree. The doctor examples are much more like co-running a business, as opposed to a ministry.

  5. So what’s worse? A co-pastor wife that calls the shots in the church? Or simply labeling the pastor’s wife as the music director that calls the shots in the church?

    nicodemusatnite.com
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  6. In our church, men AND women run the place. Our church council is made up of both, elected by the congregation.

    We don’t have a dictatorial style leadership.
    Steve Martin recently posted..‘The Easter Paradigm’

  7. I’ve never understood the whole no-women-in-leadership thing… but, I like your assessment of how women are still in leadership positions. It’s true.

    The unfortunate double edge to this sword is the part where men are not allowed to help with children’s ministry/nursery and such in most of those types of churches. That’s “women’s work.” I almost puked typing that. As if men have no part in raising children in Christ.

    Here’s my caveat: I can’t stand Beth Moore, and if someone asked me to go to a church where Beth Moore was the pastor… I would tell them that I am not a woman, and have not reached menopause. But I digress.
    bman (The Underfold) recently posted..Choose Your Own Adventure

    • Sure. There’s men and women pastors who I can’t stomach. And you’re right about the division of “women’s work.” I think our culture has reaped what it has sown by referring to raising children as “women’s work.”

    • We have men and women, as well as male, female teens serving in our Children’s Ministry. There is one body working together for His kingdom.

  8. HA! Loved this post! Okay, I can speak from pretty close to personal experience on this since my dad and stepmom are co-pastors of their church. But, neither draws a salary (they do sometimes get “love offerings”), but they are both retired from secular work after thirty years so they receive a pension. They do take turns preaching, and since they both sing and play the organ/keyboard, they share in the musical leadership.

    None of this is odd to me as I grew up attending my grandfather’s church which he founded along with my grandmother, who was the assistant pastor. My father and eventually my uncle, became assistant pastors in this church at various points as well. So really, in my family, church isn’t just an entertainment duo, but like a whole Brady Bunch variety hour!
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  9. Co-pastors… what about missionaries? What about smaller churches? My dad pastors a small church. He preaches, he leads worship, he teaches, etc. but my mom is right there beside him. Playing the piano, worship orders, teaching, his secretary, etc. I know that some of these co-pastor teams make church difficult, but for a lot of couples and churches when you hire a pastor you get two for the price of one. Some of that is the couple, and a lot of that is the church’s expectations. They want someone else to do what they aren’t willing to do.

    I know of a denomination that literally says that 90% of the problems in a church are the pastor’s wife. Seriously people believe this. I think the church just has major issues with women across the board. It’s messy. If a woman steps up into leadership she is seen as domineering and controlling. If she doesn’t fit into the normal mold of what is appropriate… then she has no value.
    It’s a mess.
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  10. Great thoughts. Isn’t it always weird how there are currents that mess up everyone’s perfect theological, airtight arguments? Like the whole KJV only line of reasoning that is as illogical as anything I have ever heard. Anyone who doesn’t think women are playing a HUGE role in Kingdom no matter how you interpret scripture is deluded.
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  11. Sometimes I sit behind the pastor’s wife at church. Her job is to take their kids to Sunday School and to keep his mother company. She seems very quiet, but I’m sure she gets a ton of perks from the church.
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  12. What about a Pastor and his Son…can they be “Co-Pastors”? I don’t think my church calls it “Co-Pastors”,…we call them both Both Pastors. And the Dad introduces the Son as Pastor…not “Co-Pastor”….

    and what is the defination of “Pastor”? Preaching? counculing? Decision on expanding? What? …. If a woman had a serious problem and didn’t feel comfortable telling her pastor, would the pastor let her talk to his wife?…and wouldn’t that be considered “co-pastoring?

    i played at a church where the Pastor was a woman. She preached good. granted it was a small church but somehow i really don’t know if I could attend a church where the women had full responsibility for the church…only because i know from experience from being married, my sister, my mom, my mother in law, my boss (who is a woman)….are just emotionally unstable. Not to put down women in any way but come on.

    Deborah was a Judge to Isreal in the old testiment so a women to be in full control of a church is not that far off in God’s radar…but it does not happen a lot in the bible. Isaiah wife was also a prophetess.

    But I don’t know…it’s a tough one Matt!!!
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    • About fathers and sons, I’ve seen plenty of them. I’m one myself. Some of them work well and they aren’t obnoxious. I’ve seen others where the church basically has 4 pastors because the dad and son’s wives are included, and it becomes obvious that the church is a family business.

    • I think that part of the fact that there were so few women in leadership in the Bible has less to do with the innate leadership abilities of women (or lack thereof) and more to do with the fact that the stories happened in an ancient Near Eastern culture, which, let’s be honest, did not exactly encourage that sort of thing.

      Paul’s comments, too, about about women being silent in the church are deeply contextualized. Elsewhere he writes about a deaconess. And many scholars believe that the book of Hebrews was written by a woman.

      As far as women being too emotionally unstable to run a big church, lets break that down.

      By emotionally unstable, do you simply mean emotional, as in someone who sometimes cries and doesn’t frequently suppress their feelings? If so, King David is pretty unfit for leadership by that standard.

      Women do tend to be more in touch with our emotions than men.
      The male half of the congregation might find that off-putting. But many men often to assume that the way they think is the “normal” way of thinking, and truthfully, there’s just no such thing. Often women will need someone to empathize with them, and come away frustrated because many men, pastors included, don’t know how to do that.

      Whatever the gender of a leader, people of the other gender will have to learn to be flexible, see things from their perspective, and learn to work with them. The difference is that men are more often in charge, so women are generally quite used to doing this. Men, (who, again tend to think of themselves as “normal”) have less practice at submitting to the leadership of women, and therefore tend to have a harder time doing it.

      Also, I know some men who have preferred to come to women with their problems because our emotional fluency frees them to express what they are going through.

      I’ve also known many women who are extremely stable emotionally, many of them more so than some men I’ve known who repress what they feel and then don’t know why to do the things they do.

      I’ve known many women in positions of spiritual leadership who were single, or who were married, but whose husbands had different callings. They were and are gifted, faithful leaders from whom I (and others, including men) have learned a great deal.

      I don’t mean to say that women always make better pastors than men. That is just as ridiculous as it’s inverse. There are a lot of extremely gifted men, many of whom happen to be deeply in touch with their emotions. I just think it’s important to make sure that we don’t look at a way in which some women tend to be different from some men, and say, “Well, clearly that’s wrong and it disqualifies them from leadership.”

  13. Well I think that whole church is messed up. First we ignore the -fold leadership gifts in Eph 4:11, then we turn Paul’s letter into an anti woman in leadership, which it is not (these were practices they asked HIM about!)

    And most sad of all, we have poor pathetic pastors with no help from prophets apostles, evangelistic and teachers.

    I don’t have a problem with any sort of leader that is dedicated to Jesus.
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  14. When we made the shift into full-time mission work (providing techie/strategy consulting and discipleship), the expectation was that I would work with my husband. Never mind that he worked in the computer industry and I majored in biology. If I couldn’t do the tech part, it was assumed I’d be his administrator.

    We tried it, and it was awful. I was miserable, he was miserable, and our marriage suffered. We finally realized that God had called us to share ourselves, not to share a job.

    I’m sure God is quite capable of calling husband-wife teams to do anything He has in mind, including co-pastoring a church. It’s just important to ask Him rather than make assumptions one way or the other.

  15. Co-Pastors always make me laugh. I work at a church with a decent sized staff, but no one is called a co-pastor, why would the wife be called that? I mean, a husband and wife both being on staff is one thing (I wouldn’t do it, but that’s just me) but sharing the same title seems silly.
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  16. To your comment “Because what are the odds that two people are called to pastor the same church, and well isn’t that convenient, they just happen to be married?”

    There are things that happen with less probability in the Bible. Also, who cares? If they really bring people closer to God, fine. We shouldn’t care what their title is.

    • Ah, but there’s your crucial caveat: “if they really bring people closer to God.” If two people really are called to be pastors and they are married, fine. But I’ve seen plenty of spouse teams where it was obvious one was not gifted or called. They were sharing the workload because it was expected, or it was for show, or it gave the women in the church some kind of “role model.”

  17. I made it very clear in my interview with my current church that it was not fair to expect my wife to do anything because she was my wife. She was a month from having our first child, and I didn’t know if she’d want to do youth work anymore. Well, she doesn’t want to, and she doesn’t have to do it. Our church is fine with that. I was told there would be no expectations placed on Sarah, and it turned out to be actually true. I love my church.

  18. Sorry. Still snickering over Michelle’s comment referring to the assistant pastor as the “ass pastor”…
    I know. I know.

    Honestly, I think there is a freedom and respect for women in complementarian churches. I find that the co-pastoring title is patronizing. And rarely do these women do the work AND earn the paycheck that their title insinuates. My husband is a pastor and I am his wife. I am also a great number of other things as well… but that is between me, the Lord and my family. There are no expectations of me from the church, other than to love and support my husband and his calling. I find freedom in that. If we are good keepers of the home (making sure people are being loved and cared for) then we are free to seek the Lord to guide us to our callings as individuals-whether that be in the church or in the secular community.

  19. So you asked if “co-pastors” are legit or Biblical. I am no expert but I am not sure that when Paul talks about pastors he means it in the same context that we do. A pastor is a shepherd so you could make the argument that anyone who leads a group of people is a pastor. I don’t think the idea of a church being run by one or two people is “Biblical.” I think the communities were run by the communities with people in different leadership positions according to their gifts.

    But I am totally with you on our inconsistent application of women in leadership. All your reasons and all the things you said were right on. In my church, it is rare to see a woman on stage who is not a back-up singer or a missionary coming for a brief interview. I think that is sad and we are missing out on some good stuff.

    I am happy to work for a campus ministry that celebrates and affirms women in all kinds of leadership roles. I have been blessed by it and am better for it.

    Nice post.
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  20. I think something that we need to address is the equality in value between men and women in the church. We often times talk about leadership roles, but we skip over the fact that many communities don’t practice value of women.

    What do you think Matt?
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    • Yep, agreed. In practicing complimentarianism or valuing both men and women, we need to honestly ask what is this man or woman really gifted at? Many men are not gifted leaders, and aren’t leaders by virtue of the fact that they are men. And many women aren’t leaders either, and we shouldn’t try to shoehorn them in so we can say we practice “equality.”

  21. “…what are the odds that two people are called to pastor the same church, and well isn’t that convenient, they just happen to be married?”

    If we were solely dependent upon luck and chance, I’d say the odds would be very small. But bringing two people together, at the right place, at the right time, and calling them together? That’s exactly the kind of orchestration that God does so perfectly.

    I think maybe what turns your stomach about the co-pastoring is not that it’s likely to be artificial, but rather the rotten fruits produced by some of the “ministries” led by co-pastors.
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  22. The whole “co-pastor” thing tends to never turn out well.

    I think it’s funny how many people attack complementarian churches. So what if men are the elders and women are the deacons? It’s Scriptural! Paul lays this out pretty clearly in 1 Timothy. However, just because we have different roles doesn’t mean one is better than the other — that’s why we’ve got 1 Corinthians 7. Men need their wives, and women need their husbands, and we all need Jesus. Do the distinctions/roles really need to cause a fuss?

    I think people have this hierarchy mindset (both men and women) oftentimes instead of having a ‘piece of the puzzle’ mindset, which causes pride and insecurity to creep into leadership. Leadership then becomes less about furthering God’s mission and more about furthering our own little personal missions, which are usually NOT found in the Bible.

    “You never know if there’s a future pastor in Sunday School, and I’d hate to think that you put a woman in authority over him.” I can’t say that’s a good argument; Paul makes a definitive distinction between children and men in 1 Corinthians 13:11.
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  23. In my church at home, the Senior Pastor’s wife got ordained as a pastor while they have been at my church. So they are both hired at the church as far as I understand. SO this is kind of a different thing altogether than what you were talking about with co-pastors and such.
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  24. Wouldn’t Aquila and Priscilla be considered “co-pastors”? One is never mentioned without the other.

    “The churches of Asia greet you. Aquila and Priscilla greet you heartily in the Lord, with the church that is in their house.” 1 Cor 16:19 NKJV

    From what I remember being taught, whoever hosted the church also led the church. Therefore, not that Scripture is explicit but that she led the church is implied. Otherwise, why mention her name at all? Paul gives her full credit for being a co-worker in the Lord and not just as a tag-along. I also note that she worked right along with her husband teaching (a pastoral duty and to a man, no less!) (Acts 18:26) and risking her life (Rom. 16:3,4).

  25. Even when I was Catholic I was always a proponent for women leaders in the church. I was so sad when John Paul II said women priest would never happen in his lifetime. I also think that Paul’s words are taken out of context and doesn’t take scripture as a whole when churches decide that women can’t be leaders. That being said, when I was planning our wedding and was faced with the option of being forced to having a different pastor officiate the service, the fact that this different pastor was a woman bothered me. I don’t know why. But I’m guessing because whenever I pictured my wedding (as girls tend to do) I never pictured a chick marrying me. I still think women can be leaders in the church, but I really had to look into what I really believed after that.

    Also, we attended a church for short time that the husband and wife were co-pastors. It made sense because they started the church together and attended Bible school together. But it didn’t make sense when the wife preached cause she never made any sense, and many times yelled when she prayed. She was a good leader, but not a good speaker/preacher. There were other roles I think she could have fulfilled better, but because she was the wife she was the co-pastor (that and many of the other staff members were their children! ha!)
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  26. Churches have always looked for a two-fer special – they want to pay the Pastor (male) and have the wife do certain tasks for free. And no, I’m not a pastor’s wife but I have been a Pastor who has a spouse who has his own job.
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  27. Maybe I’m just too Lutheran for this crowd, but call first comes from God, not just from personal feelings, right? And that call is expressed in a group of believers gathered together as a church, right?

    So consider this: Husband is called by God. Wife is called by God. They go to seminary together. Now, where do they serve? They can, and often do, seek churches that are close to each other. But sometimes, if their gifts fit each other and the right opportunity comes up, they could both pastor the same church. It doesn’t look like Pastors’ Family Variety Hour at all. It looks like two pastors, who are also married. In my experience, those two pastors get along better professionally than the average multiple-pastor staff.

    How does that work at home? Frankly, why does that matter, so long as it does work? I know clergy couples that have a strict no-work-at-home rule, and others that don’t. I know one couple that alternates the “senior” pastor role. It takes all kinds.
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  28. The first time I “led” worship for “big church” (the main Sun AM service) in our 120-yr-old Southern Baptist church, I explained why I (after many years of deliberation and study) was ok with a woman being in that role (short version – it’s the Holy Spirit leading, not me).

    After the service, a kindly, older gentleman told me this story. There used to be a couple who would hold revivals on the Mall in downtown Washington, DC, and they would take turns preaching. One time someone asked the husband if he was ok with his wife preaching, since she was a woman. The husband answered, “I tell you what…when my wife preaches, she is filled with the Holy Spirit….and the Holy Spirit is a man!”

    As for “co-pastors”…..eh……I guess I’ve always been of the opinion that you don’t just call the husband (or wife) to any ministry – you call the whole family (so says the minister of youth and/or music’s kid). That’s clearly more obvious in foreign mission work than it is in your local church, but I’ve always thought it was the case. I think the “co-pastor” idea is just making that more official. Not sure that I think a “co-pastor” should have sermon or counseling duty unless qualified and gifted, but I think no matter what you call it, the pastor’s wife has an important position.
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  29. Pastors do not necessarily have to be the ones that “run the church”.

    Our pastor’s job is Word and Sacrament. But he still answers to us, the congregation that called him. And we still make the decisions for the church via the Church Council, on which the pastor is a voting member.

    Why folks want a dictatorial model, I’ll never know.
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  30. The Salvation Army has a rather unique take on this.

    The Salvation has always (since the 1870s?) ordained (‘commissioned’) women as officers and they have always been appointed to pastoral type roles. There has always been something of a quirk here though—officers were only ever allowed to marry other officers. If one half of a married couple were to train for the ministry, the other half had to go as well. They would usually end up in a co-officer role wherever they were sent.

    It hasn’t always worked out quite so well in practice. The male half would generally be accepted as ‘the officer’ whilst the female half was considered the ‘officer’s wife’ even though she had been trained and commissioned as much as he had, and might even have more years of service under her belt.

    This rule is still more or less unchanged, although in some areas around the world it is being relaxed somewhat. Still, exceptions to the rule are quite exceptional.

    My wife and I were commissioned about ten years ago. Over those years we have pretty well been allowed to define our roles within the congregations we’ve served. I’ve tended to look after preaching and other ‘Sunday stuff’, whilst her gifts tend to lie in administration and social work. That said, there is a lot of crossover in our work. Except when dealing with gender specific issues we have tried very hard not to allow our genitalia to dictate the work we do.
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  31. Hey Matt –

    Really liked this post. I agree. As far as co-pastors being possible, I would go further and say the idea would be a mess. As Oscar from the Office once said “I mean everyone know that a country has two presidents right?” Yeah it is kind of crazy.

  32. You might be right about the Branson thing. Jimm Baker (formerly of Jimm and Tammy Faye Baker) is now in Branson doin’ his thing.

  33. It kind of comes down to what you’re calling a pastor. There are tons of duties that women carry out all throughout the church that folks expect them to do, all of which are ministry. Does that count as being a pastor? It depends on your definition.

    All of this hair splitting happens because of our funkified version of Sunday mornings that we’ve inherited and run with over time. One person who gets up on stage and runs a dog and pony show for an hour or two once a week? Where in the biblical text does it make sense to say “This one person is going to do everything for us and we’re just going to come and get something out of it”?

    If we didn’t use this model of “what-we-should-be-doing-i-think” on Sundays, or whenever we gather together, this would be a non-issue. All of us, men and women, have the responsibility of ministering to our brothers and sisters around us. All of us have the responsibility of being in the Word, and the Spirit, so that we can have something to give one another.

  34. Hey, can we be co-bloggers? Just joking with you. I agree that the whole co-pastor thing is pretty strange. I don’t see Peter in the Bible co-writing a letter with his wife. Did his wife support him? We don’t know, but it certainly is important.
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  35. Growing up Catholic revealed some inconsistencies regarding the role of women in the Church. I find it interesting that although the Catholic church does not ordain women to the priesthood or deaconate, no one blinks an eye when it comes to women teaching at co-ed conferences or hosting/teaching huge co-ed ministry training seminars. I’m totally ok with women teaching in this way, I just think it’s odd that this is allowed and the ordination of women isn’t.

  36. Why is being the pastor’s wife a job? I married a man, not his career. I love and serve whatever church I attend but would and have done the same even when my husband was not the pastor. The problem comes when the congregation has unrealistic expectations of the woman married to their pastor. She should not be expected to do or be any more than the other people of the congregation. God made each one of them unique and the church needs to recognize and appreciate the individual gifts given to the woman married to their pastor. Congregants should treat the pastor’s wife the same way they want to be treated.

  37. I have a question, my husband and I started going to our church in February of this year at which time our church was operating under another church, well we recently opened our own church and we have been blessed, but it was agreed that when we did get our own church that the pastor and his wife would turn over the financial obligation to a designated person as niether are very good at finances, well it’s been over a month and so the asst. pastor called a meeting and asked if the books had been turned over, well the Pastor’s wife became very defensive and said she didn’t really trust anyone with the money, it is in a church bank account and requires 2 signatures at all times, well later that afternoon she began texting the asst pastor telling him she was being stabbed in the back and that she was going to cancel activities, more or less throwing a tantrum, my question is, If it was agreed upon doesn’t the asst pastor have the right to inquire about the church finances and why would she become so defensive about it?

    • Hell if I know. Two possibilities in my mind: she either likes the modicum of control she has (and this is a common disease among people with a very limited amount of power, both men and women), or she has something to hide (which I’ve also seen happen.) Either way, her behavior, if it violates previously agreed standards, is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

  38. If a wife is the co-pastor, it should be made known at least during new member orientation. I hate hearing it after I’ve joined a church. If I wanted a woman to Pastor me I would join a church where a woman pastors. If a Pastor needs a Co-Pastor then maybe he should not be pastoring

  39. I have studied in great length concerning women in ministry. Women pastors, I am presently not in agreement with based on my current study of the scriptures. Based on my experience of attending several women – pastored churches in the past, I am definitely not a fan! I know of several female senior pastors and they love the authority they have, but prefer to call upon the help of a MAN to be the “church bouncer”. These women have been totally inferior when handling conflict, in in some cases have been the root of the reason that there were “out of control” problems. Once the “male bouncer” has taken care of the issue, he is quickly deflated and placed back on the pew. I could cover a few other issues I have witnessed due to women being the supreme authority of the church congregation but due to keeping this shorter I will move forward.

    I do NOT have a scriptural issue with women preaching or teaching providing that they are under the authority of the male leadership of the church. Just because a woman preaches or teaches does not mean that she is in anyway in authority of the church, the pastor or the leadership, but is exercising her calling as a Christian to be a “witness”.
    When studying the I Cor scriptures concerning women being “quiet” in the church you will need to study the original Greek and Hebrew words and their meanings. One must also refer to other scriptures using the same words and one will see the broader meanings.

    As a woman, I would like to find plenty of scriptures that preach equality in every area, but it’s just not there.

    MEN leaders take note: Women under the submission of men should not be abusive. You are under the authority of Jesus. The “fruit of the Holy Spirit” should be evident in your life. LOVE your congregation. Concerning women in the church that have duties and roles; you should be a leader to challenge them for growth in Christ. Not in arrogance or viewing yourself as a much superior MAN. Read the life of Christ to fashion your attitude and behavior. >>