Yes, it’s time for Love Month to ride into the sunset of “happily ever after.”
I’ve had a great time featuring Love Month and seeking out interesting people to talk to. I hope you read something this month that was meaningful to you. Thank you so much for making February the biggest month since last September in terms of visitors. (Plus, it’s a short month. Woo!)
I want to close Love Month with a simple thought.
I don’t like fairy tales.
What I really mean is people refer to really good couples as having a “fairy tale” relationship. It seems that their lives are so great, it could only be possible because of the presence of tiny flying pixies sprinkling magical dust on everything. You know, Prince Charming, a damsel in distress, all that junk.
People want “fairy tale” lives. People are inspired and get all dreamy-eyed by “fairy tale” weddings.
Not me. Fairy tale weddings make me barf, which it turns out is not socially acceptable at fairy tale weddings.
And fairy tale lives bore me.
Sure, you should strive for a peaceful, happy life. My wife and I have had a relatively easy, peaceful marriage so far. We can give a couple of little pointers here and there about how we make it work. But we can’t tell your from experience how to fix a marriage that’s in the trash can. I just don’t think the ease with which we’ve been married is all that inspiring. I’m quite happy with my life, but our story is a little bit boring.
Know what inspires me?
Tough marriages. Couples that have had some real fights. I’m inspired by couples whose marriages were broken but not destroyed. I respect couples that have irreconcilable differences, and choose to make it work anyway, even though their differences may never be reconciled. I look up to couples that have put in the hard work to remove the emnity from between them, and prove that a marriage in trouble can be revived. Those are marriages you can learn from, be inspired by. If you aspire to have a fairy tale marriage, you will be disappointed and feel like a failure when your marriage doesn’t stack up. If you respect couples that have really duked it out and came out okay, you’ll probably be inspired.
Just to be clear, I’m not inspired by couples that stay together in some sort of bitter scheme to make the other miserable, or old couples that fight about everything. I’m inspired by couples whose biggest fights are past tense.
So as we send off Love Month and return to regular programming, tell us about the “fairy tale” marriages and the tough, gritty marriages you’ve observed, experienced, or been inspired by.