Love Month Feature: Sensuous Wife

February 18, 2011

Almost every town has one of these places…

One of those shady looking sex stores with the red lights and the scary looking lingerie in the window. 

Yeah, most people try not to be seen going into one of those places.  People are kind of embarassed about being seen there.  So I’ve got a really unique day on the blog…I brought the sex store to you, and no one even has to see you.

Shula Jackson is the proprietor of “Sensuous Wife,” an online Christian sex shop (which happens to be not at all frightening.)  I became acquainted with Shula (who is also not scary) when she was featured on Matthew Paul Turner’s blog, and I knew I had to feature her here.  I know you are probably giggling nervously with curiosity.  You’ll want to read what she had to say.  Plus, you guessed it, there’s a big giveaway at the end.

Shula, can you tell us just a bit about yourself, and Sensuous Wife?

I’m a woman who has been walking with the Lord for 35 years. I was raised in a Christian home.  I’m a preacher’s kid in fact!  My mama and daddy have been married for more than 40 years and they still have the hots for each other.  After starting the store, I have continued my office job and God has always provided a caring customer service employee to help me take care of my customers. I was raised in the South and I live in Texas.

Tell us about how “Sensuous Wife” came to exist.  Is running a Christian sex shop like being an Avon lady?

One of my favorite scriptures is 2 Corinthians 1:4 “We comfort others with the comfort we have received from God.” I have received a lot of healing in my sexuality and it’s been my joy to pass on to others the resources that have been helpful for me.

I had back pain and a physical therapist recommended I try Liberator shapes. The support that the shapes gave me greatly reduced “morning after” flareups.  More and more I was recommending Liberator shapes and other sexual health resources and both my online and offline friends asked me more and more “Where can I buy this stuff in a place that doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable?”

I asked some friends to pray for me about the possibility of opening a store. Within 24 hours, I began to receive product orders. Within another day or two, a husband wife design team approached me and asked me if I’d like them to help me design an online retail site. They wanted to help me because they believed what I was doing was a ministry.  This spring we will celebrate two years in business.

The sex shops in my town have frightening names and window displays. What makes your shop unique? Why do Christians need a sex shop?

You’re not the only one who feels that way. People have shared with me their experience of visiting a retail store and feeling uncomfortable with the prominent displays of porn and the jaded disrespectful demeanor in which the topic of sex was presented.

My store is unique in that every aspect of the store was designed to offer sexuality resources in a safe, respectful, fun, educational way.

Yeah, “educational” isn’t usually the word that comes to my mind. 

It is really important to me that each product at Sensuous Wife is presented in a way that is friendly to those with sexual abuse or sexual addiction issues.

I am also reminded of one guest who told us one of his leg was amputated at the knee. We were able to help him select a product that gave him the support he needed to make love without his prosthesis.  Serving our guests is an honor and a joy.  I believe Christians sometimes miss out on a lot of opportunities to experience pleasure and oneness due to a sense of shame or fear.  Christians need a safe place to see the variety of products that are available to help them enjoy their five senses and enjoy each other. That’s why my store is here.

Now obviously humanity made it a long way without “marital aids.” Some pastors, authors, and Christians even say that “marital aids” are bad, since guys can’t compete with toys that run on batteries.  What do you say to that?

Humanity made it quite a long way without prescription medication or technological advances in health care too. My mother is a breast cancer survivor. If she had been born a few decades earlier, the technology would not exist and she wouldn’t be here.  I choose to embrace the same gratitude when I consider the products that are now available to help us enjoy healthy sexual function.  If a woman truly wants to only interact with an inhuman toy and not her human husband, then I believe that would indicate an legitimate need for marital counseling or sex therapy.  One of the most frequently asked questions I receive from husbands who shop at my store is “Will the toy replace me?” and I always assure them that no it will not.

Every commercial I see for sex pills and whatnot says people should ask their doctors if they’re healthy enough for sex.  Are your products going to cause massive injuries to innocent people?

I cannot suppress a giggle as I imagine a couple in an emergency room with a sprained wrist after they attempt sex in a handstand position. But in all seriousness, the safety of products was definitely something I considered when selecting our product line.  We offer high quality products such as those made with surgical grade silicone. Clearly, people must know their own body and exercise good judgment and self care, and we are here to support that. One of our guests has Parkinson’s disease and weakness in her wrists, and she wanted to know the weight of each item. We started offering weight along with measurement on product descriptions.

Sexuality does not go away as we age. When I was a teen, I stayed with my Aunt and Uncle one summer. She was in her 50’s, he in his 60’s. One morning, I remember her walking down the stairs from their bedroom into the kitchen wearing a big smile. I was sitting at the kitchen table. She looked me in the eye and smiled and said, “Honey, the longer you stay married, the lovemaking just gets sweeter and sweeter!” I blushed and smiled. This 30 second conversation had a beautifully positive influence on my perception of married sexuality.

Okay, time for the giveaway.  Shula’s graciously giving away a gift from the store to one lucky reader, retail vaule: $130!  Just comment or tweet this post to be entered into the random drawing.  All you need to comment is an email address, so Shula can contact you.  Then, go check out Shula’s store for yourself.  Giggidy!

34 responses to Love Month Feature: Sensuous Wife

  1. Good morning, Matt & Shula,

    Well, after 43 years of marriage, Ginny and I still have fun. We enjoy eachother. Just a couple of weeks ago a waitress in a restaurant asked if we were honeymooners; I said yes. We are.

    We believe in King Solomon’s happy command, “Rejoice in the wife of thy youth, Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times…. (something about a goat)… Yea, be thou ravished with her love”.

    Not sure I’ve got that quote word for word, but it’s close.

    Speaking of the Word: King James translators renders it, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled”. More recent versions make that statement into a harsh dictate, something like, You married couples better not screwup by doing anything fun or God will get you.

    Also, as a 71-year-old male, I read with keen interest that Moses boasted that, his “natural force abated not”. What a blessing! When God like you, He really likes you!

    And we old guys–er, make that mature lovers–know what the Lord really promised Abraham (lots of kids were only part of it) and why Sarah thought that was funny. She giggled for joy??? Thought the whole matter ridiculous? laughed in anticipation?

    Think maybe the Lord slipped Abraham a few anachronistic Viagra pills?

    Anyhow,this is certainly an interesting posting. The only thing I find obscene about it, are some of the catalog prices.

    John

  2. Not wanting to win anything, but congratulations Shula on a very important ministry. May God continue to bless you as you bless others through it.

  3. At first glance I was groaning at this post. But I like it. Keep up the good work Shula.

    I remember we went to a Family Life Marriage conference in VA once and there was a 2 hour talk about sex between husband and wife. After the talk it was time to have free time. (All the people at the conference stayed at the same hotel and we met in one of those large ball rooms for the lectures, etc). And there was some kind of shop there like a Victoria Secret’s or some kind of sex shop and people attending the conference said the owner of that store was flabbergasted and wondered what kind of sick Christian conference this was. Everyone at the conference thought it was hilarious. That’s God for you.

    nicodemusatnite.com
    Charlie Chang recently posted..Second look – Being a Grasshopper

  4. Sounds good to me … would love to win.
    Janet Oberholtzer recently posted..Thankful Thursday – Post 14

  5. Matt,
    Thanks for bringing this interview! Shula appears to be a strongly convicted woman whose concern for this aspect of the Christian married life is highly refreshing. I’ve purchased from “The Sensuous Wife” before as a gift for MY wife and it was very well received! I agree that Christians really have no reason to not enjoy this aspect of their marriage and think it is wonderful that Shula provides an appropriate venue for us to shop.

    Randall

  6. Sex in a Christian life gets so sensationalized, I like the balance and respectful tone of this interview. It’s not screaming it from the billboards, but seems to be a truly supportive ministry. The name of the store even stays away from being too sensational. I’d love win the give away too :)

  7. I loved what Jimmy Evans said. “If it is not specified as sin in the Bible, if it doesn’t cause shame or harm to either of you, go for it.”

    I think I am going to see if my wife comments before I offer to win something. 😉
    David recently posted..From Darkness to Light – The Journey of a Bumbling Christian

  8. Amen, Sister! I love the positive approach to sexuality.

    A few years ago I was lambasted for hosting a “passion” party. I invited who I thought were “mature” Christian married women, and a few who were not (so they could see that Christians LOVE sex too). I was brought before the leadership of the church (I, myself was a Women’s Ministry leader). Let me tell you, it was not just slightly uncomfortable to explain the comfort of my own sexuality with the pastor and elders. I felt like a sexual deviant!

    The experience did teach to explore EVERYTHING the Bible has to say about sexuality and purity. For the record, it doesn’t say a lot. Keep the marriage bed pure, and stay away from sexual immorality was essentially the advice the Bible offers.

    How much more safe would exploring how sexuality can be enhanced other than in my own home, with a Passion Consultant that I trusted.

    As it is, I decided not to host the passion party. I felt it was ‘okay’ but it was not worth being a ‘stumbling block’ to others so I let the idea slide.

    I would LOVE to win the package.

    Thanks Matt, for the post.

    • Hey Andrea,

      Sorry to hear about your judgemental experience before your church leadership. Hopefully you have discovered “Intimate Choices Parties” by the folks at The Pure Bed.com. You might even want to consider being a consultant and have them help you with your church difficulties if your still attending there. Thanks for wanting to help women be all they can be in the bedroom.

  9. Love the interview, I also read MPT’s interview with Shula. Such a great concept. A website for people who enjoy sex without all the pornography… Sign me up to win!
    SethC recently posted..Inconsistent

  10. It is a great concept. Anything that helps boost intimacy between a husband and wife is OK in my book.
    Jason recently posted..Day 48- When God “isn’t there”

  11. Hey! What a fantastic idea! And I would love to win this one! This is something my husband would definitely be interested in my winning. I am open to his ideas but don’t want to visit the places we would have to in order to explore more. What a great opportunity! Great job, Shula!

  12. Free stuff?! Awesome!
    Rocco recently posted..A Letter to My Daughter

  13. i want to win please. thank you for your support.

  14. Amen! Amen! Amen!
    Melanie recently posted..Hate

  15. I always think it’s funny that people don’t associate Christianity with sex. Where do they think our kids come from? Love that there are people like the 2 of you out there spreading the word that enjoying your spouse is a good thing. :)
    cassie recently posted..Sometimes I Annoy Myself

  16. I’ve been to the Sensuous Wife and think it’s a beautiful site. I was married 10 years before I truly understood how God has blessed us with the gift of sex. I wish I had a site like the Sensuous Wife when I first got married!

  17. Matt,
    Great interview. And this sounds like a great resource.
    Thanks!

  18. I happened to be a blog reader of Shula’s at the time she put the store together. It was awesome to see it all come together and how thoughtful and classy the store is.

  19. So many of us grew up in churches that taught sex=sin, rather than sex-outside-of-marriage=sin. It’s good to know that more people are seeing that within the bonds of matrimony, it’s a good thing and to be enjoyed. I’m sure my husband and I would find something to enjoy if we won.

  20. great point that Christians often miss out on intimate opportunities because of shame and fear and other issues around sex. Fundamentalism just keeps on giving!

  21. I found Shula’s store a few months before my wedding. I love that there is a Christian store available that my husband can shop at with no fear of inappropriate images. Sensuous Woman is a great blessing to the Christian community. :-)

  22. I think that it is so easy to get caught up in “legality” of Christianity (that is usually made up by people at some point and followed blindly by the masses for so long that no one thinks anything of it) that we forget to God created sex to be enjoyed. If that means tossing in a few play things, so be it. As long as husband and wife understand that it is an enhancement – not a replacement – of sex, then who cares?!? Sex should be fun. It should be about learning about each other – and I’m pretty sure the Bible never says anything bad against a vibrator or other sex toy. 😉

  23. “Honey, the longer you stay married, the lovemaking just gets sweeter and sweeter!”
    Well, those of you who play musical instruments probably had to practice many years to get really good, right? :-)
    I like the fact that you have plus size women’s t-shirts.
    Helen recently posted..LIVE- FROM CHICAGO- ITS PLEASANTLY DISTURBED VOLUME 17!!!

  24. I’m very impressed with this post. Its a topic that many Christians are afraid to ever discuss. I have wondered what percentage of Christian women have never experienced an orgasm due to lack of education and fear.
    Jeremy Statton recently posted..My Blackberry is not working

  25. Thanks for having the guts to feature Shula and her site and interview! Love the freedom that comes when people can talk about sex in marriage in a positive, fun, healthy way. Bravo.
    laura@life overseas recently posted..the guy in the orange shirt

  26. Shula,
    I am a sensuous wife! I applaud you for your foresight and courage. I applaud you for your compassion and sensitivity to your customers. I applaud Matt for having you join him. We are sexual beings and God created love-making for us to enjoy; a deep, passionate connection between a husband and wife. I like toys, but they will never take the place of my robust husband. We use them together to enhance the experience.

    Blessings on you,

    Lazy Silly Girl

  27. I’ve never heard of such a thing until now. How awesome!!! I’d love to win. Thanks for sharing!

  28. Would love to win

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