Dear Friends and Family,
We hope this Christmas season finds you well, and that you are finding joy and peace in the holidays.
It’s certainly been an eventful Christmas season in our home. It began with a long and arduous journey, much like the Magi traveled to visit sweet baby Jesus. We journeyed far across town, guided by the light of midnight Black Friday sales. Of course, we had to cut Thanksgiving short with the relatives, so we could nab as many cheap electronics as possible. It certainly will be a happy Christmas morning in our home. I doubt we’ll have much to say to one another as we become engrossed in the warm glow of shiny new toys. We do adore staring for hours on end at glowing rectangles.
Of course, the Christmas season is all about spreading glad tidings and Christmas cheer to everyone, and we’ve been doing that every chance we get. For example, the other day, I noticed our local grocery store was actually not playing Christmas music. Well, I sharply questioned our cashier, who did not even look old enough to be shaving, much less know the true significance of the holiday. After a few minutes of interrogation, Tiny Tim had still not acted to fix the situation, and the customers behind me were complaining that I was holding up the line. How ungrateful! I’m just trying to spread some Christmas freakin’ cheer. Last time I do them a favor.
Well it seems the grocery store isn’t the only place full of Grinches. During another Christmas shopping trip, I took a break and headed for a local Starbucks. I figured they are probably in the Christmas spirit, since they have such wonderful holiday specialty drinks. I ordered a large cup of Cool Whip with candy cane sprinkles mixed in it. But the “barista,” if she actually is one, handed the beverage to me, bidding me, “Happy Holidays!” Excuse me? Which holiday? Because I certainly am not happy about any of those other Godless holidays that I can’t pronounce. Happy holidays, my holly jolly butt! I marched right out of there, never to return again, until they get their act together and figure out which holiday we celebrate here in America!
You would think my troubles would be over. But no, my efforts to spread the love of Christ Almighty are being thwarted even by our local government. They have displayed some god-awful “non-denominational” holiday riff-raff decorations that looks like the courthouse is having a yard sale. I was so disgusted, I thought I would lose my sugar cookies right there. I marched right up those steps and demanded to know from a surly looking woman where in God’s name sweet baby freakin’ Jesus was. How am I supposed to spread peace on Earth and goodwill to men when my own government is persecuting me like this? Later that day, I got on eBay and bought a hundred plastic baby Jesuses and am having them shipped right to the courthouse steps. Next time, they’ll remember to keep “Christ” in Christmas, as well as decorations, parades and all other public events, or I’ll be forcefully inserting Christ myself. I thought we elected these heathan chumps to protect our freedom of religion!
Of course, I was a bit confused by so many people selling Jesuses on eBay. Who would try to profit off of Jesus?
Yes, Christmas is a special time of year. I hope you find a new appreciation in the miracle of the holiday, and are able to spread some holiday cheer to those around you.
How are you spreading the Christmas spirit? With protests and boycotts? Or maybe just reaching out to some neighbors or strangers? Have you noticed your local stores and governments subtly leaving Jesus out, or subtly putting him back in to keep us happy?