Today, we’re talking yoga, math, Walt Disney, and demons. Sweet.
Recently, Al Mohler Jr., President of Southern Baptist Seminary said that Christians shouldn’t practice yoga. Mark Driscoll, the beefy, slightly Shrek-like Seattle pastor of Mars Hill Church, not to be outdone by a mere seminary leader in Kentucky, raised the bar and said yoga is outright “demonic.”
Why is it “demonic?” Because, apparently, you can’t practice yoga without meditating on Hindu gods and whatnot. It just can’t be done. Now, I’ve been telling my church that they shouldn’t practice yoga because Chuck Norris feeds people who do yoga to his pet bears. But Mark Driscoll has definately raised the stakes. Not only will you be eaten by Chuck Norris’ bears, but you will subsequently go to hell.
Ordinarily, I’d give Mark the benefit of the doubt on this one. He’s written a lot of good stuff. But I’m starting to see a pattern. This isn’t the first time he’s come up with this sort of black and white thinking. He’s really starting to sound like an old fashioned fundie, just in different clothing.
And yet…I agree with him…but then again, I don’t. Well, just read on…
Just Because You Look Ridiculous Doesn’t Mean You Have to Be One with Ridiculousness
I get it. Yoga is a Hindu thing. They meditate on their gods while they exercise. Hinduism does not jive with Christianity. All that “becoming one with creation” nonsense and whatever.
I think Mark Driscoll is absolutely right to tell his church full of hippies that they shouldn’t be meditating like Hindus. Mark is in Seattle, and he’s trying to minister to a bunch of people who’ve had their heads filled for years with mushy-minded philosophies that have pushed the Bible totally out. So I get why he might need to say what makes him sound like a raving lunatic to some of us. It might be best for those in his church to avoid even the appearance of dabbling in Hinduism. But…
Just because you’re stretching, it doesn’t mean you have to become one with the Hindus. If you’re a Christian, and you do yoga, just stretch with your cute little rug and your colorful leotard, and I will chuckle at you, but God will probably be cool with that. I think most yoga-ers…yog-ers…yogurts…do it without any kind of religious feeling anyway. I can’t even believe I’m defending yoga. There are few things I’d rather do than rip on yoga from the comfort of my sofa. Yet here I am, defending it.
Fact is, there’s a lot of stuff that’s way more moronic / demonic than yoga. Astrology, horoscopes, self-healing, and whatever other crap people throw away their money on. Fact: the only people who can self-heal are Rambo and the Terminator. If you are not a muscley jungle assassin or a sentient cyborg from the future, than you probably cannot heal yourself.
But, if you say that yoga can’t be seperated from its Hindu roots, and therefore, it’s demonic, think about all the other “demonic” stuff Christians should do without…
I always knew algebra was of the devil in high school. It was the bane of my existence, and I am still sure it is dark arts. There’s just no way that two binomials are able to be multiplied through FOIL without the involvement of the Prince of Darkness. You can literally use a Ouija board to not only communicate with the dead, but finish your algebra homework. Guess what? A bunch of Muslims came up with algebra. When did they do that? While the Christians were busy having their dark ages and dying of the plague, proof positive of its origin from the seventh circle of hell. I’ll stick with my abacus and avoid all that demon “math” altogether, thank you very much. Don’t even get me started on calculus…
Sure, she’s Canadian, but she can’t be seperated from her Korean roots. Even if she’s of South Korean descent, that’s a little too close to North (Bad) Korea for my comfort. Avoid at all costs, lest ye be pulled into the bowels of hell and tormented through forceful and constant airings of Grey’s Anatomy Season Four.
Most people don’t know this, but Super Mario Bros. is actually a thinly veiled fable about a Japanese demon swallowing the nations of the West, coupled with an allegory of the violent Japanese occupation of China, with references to the Opium Wars. It’s all about Japan’s aspirations of ruthless, atheistic world domination. The fact that Mario is a greasy, unshaven plumber who climbs into sewage pipes was only tossed in to trick American children into allowing Satan into their televisions. Oh, and “Captain N” was not a fantasy TV show about a Nintendo fanboy being sucked into his television. It was a documentary.
My church is throwing a Wii Fit burning party this weekend. Who’s in?
I swear to you, I am reading a non-fiction book where the author became convinced that Satan was able to give his little boy cancer, because he read Peter Pan. See, Peter Pan has the same last name as Pan, a fictional goat-man character who shows up in a lot of old literature (including Narnia), and used to be a popular image of what Satan might look like. See? Peter Pan has a direct line to the Prince of Darkness. And C.S. Lewis was in on it too. Read Peter Pan, and Satan will strike your child with cancer.
Wow, kind of makes you wonder just what God’s people have contributed to the world…If we were just going to use Christian inventions, maybe Jewish inventions too, if we wanted to get liberal, we might be living like Amish people…
Anyway, do you think yoga is demonic? Where should Christians draw the line on doing things from other cultures? Can Satan really attack you through something like Peter Pan?