To my international readers who do not celebrate Labor Day, I apologize. Today is a hallowed day for Americans when we celebrate the indominable Puritan work ethic that made our country great…by sleeping in and pretending to be unemployed. Of course, when you look at it that way, every day has been Labor Day for something like half the country for quite some time now.
I’m doing my part for the economy by camping this weekend, and not blogging too hard. But I haven’t left you totally high and dry. With many blogs on vacation today, you may suddenly find yourself with an extra fifteen minutes and nothing to do. Well, I’ve compiled a list of ten very useful things you can do with your fifteen minutes of non-blog-reading time.
Create / update / exaggerate the Wikipedia page dedicated to yourself.
Google yourself. See if you’ve turned up in any unexpected places you don’t remember being, like an episode of Sesame Street.
Google your children. Don’t forget to check Google Images. Warm up that spanking arm so you don’t strain yourself.
Watch “Superhumans” on History Channel. When you see a blind guy riding his bike through a parking garage and not hitting anything, you’ll thank me.
While I don’t intend to take part, apparently acid washing jeans is back, and it’s not meant to be ironic. Also, you can find a fine selection of vintage Reebok Pumps on Ebay, Pepsi Throwback at the grocery store, and VH1 on cable.
Many parents are nervous about giving “the talk” to their kids. Practice giving the talk to yourself in front of your bathroom mirror. Don’t forget, eye contact, jokes, and hand gestures make a speaker seem more natural than nervous tics.
Guys, there’s probably dozens of honey-dos your wives have been asking you to finish for months, so I don’t know why you think you need suggestions of things to do.
Finish those inventions / novels / short films / macrame projects / Chinese leftovers you’ve been working on.
Go outside…and…look at stuff…I guess. Is that what you do outside?
Purchase plane ticket to Europe, brush up on your “French with a horrible American accent” while on plane, rent a scooter, ride scooter to fancy Paris drinking establishment, order a Budweiser.
I’ll be back on Wednesday. As always, thank you for reading, commenting, encouraging and challenging me. What are you doing for Labor Day (or your next day off?)