Last week, I talked about four not-so-great choices Christians have when it comes to sharing their faith.
Lo and behold, I realized I left something off the list. That’s highly unusual, by my count. And no one called me on it! Luckily, it’s big enough to warrant a blog post unto itself.
You see, when Christians can’t find the words to share Jesus, a much easier method of evangelism is available. All you have to do is become a walking billboard.
Many Christians love to “express” their faith by spending their money on lots of holy Jesus themed bling blang. I call it “Christian Crap Evangelism.” Just cover yourself with as much Jesus memorabilia as possible, and no one within fifty feet will even have to come near you in order to know they’ll want to avoid you.
It’s weird. Lots of people love to wear slogans on their shirts. Some people do it so we’ll know they shop at some overpriced store. But I’ve never seen someone’s t-shirt slogan and then went to Banana Republic, or Hard Rock Cafe, nor have I ever believed that life is good because of a t-shirt. I wonder how many people have given Jesus a chance because of a proudly worn Christian shirt.
I’ve been in that boat before. I’ve got a couple of Christian shirts in my closet. But the easy marketing of Jesus with lame parodies and slogans officially makes this a not-so-great tool for evangelism.
Behold Jesus, in all his capitalistic glory…
Six Poorly Thought Out Christian Clothing Products
Like I said, wear Christian t-shirts all you want. Just try not to wear t-shirts with poorly concieved, predictable slogans.
”…but Hii kicks my butt at Wii tennis every time.”
“…but you’ll still be hungry again in an hour.”
“Yep, Jesus solved all my problems, and it took no effort on my part. He just gave me a post-it that passes all understanding. Plus, he really saved my presentation to the board with his outstanding printing services.”
Stick with Jesus. Get it? Stick?…with Jesus?…Because they’re drumsticks? Extra points for parodying drums, of all things. Drums, of all the instruments around, are the most ripe for mocking, and they’ve been asking for it. Look out French Horn, we’re holding a roast in your honor next month.
Okay, you’ve got your t-shirt picked out. But it’s an awfully sunny day. How about…
The Disciple Shades company logo is “Live in the Light.” Which seems ironic since sunlight is well known for causing all kinds of skin cancer. Not to mention the very purpose of sunglasses is to keep out the light. Apparently, wearing these sunglasses also makes you totally inept at picking fruit. I think you have to do more besides cup your hands and say “fruit.” By the way, you can click on the picture to buy yourself a pair.
Finally, you’ve got the ideal shirt and shades to “express” your faith. But something’s still missing…
Socks and In-Soles
Standing on the Word of God. That is actually the company slogan. I would not have guessed had I not looked. I honestly cannot imagine what I would think of someone in front of me at the grocery store who, as I gaze upon his ankles, I discover is wearing a pair of these socks with Bible verses. Probably the same thing he’d think when he saw my Spiderman socks. If you want to be even more subtle with your faith, you can get the in-soles which have the added benefit of being completely invisible to passers-by, and having an inspiration Bible verse about athlete’s foot. Click on this picture too to get in on some Jesus foot action.
There are warehouses of Christian junk, but that’s all I can feature today. What Jesus bling do you own? What’s the most memorable you’ve seen? Is wearing a t-shirt evangelism, or just a way for Christians to throw away some of their extra money?