Open Line Friday: The Perfect Blogging Tan

December 11, 2009

It’s time for another fun Open Line Friday, the blog post that’s dedicated to talking about topics suggested by readers.  Let the barrage of non-sequitors begin!

Rev. John: I recently heard a conversation between two youth pastors. One was complaining about their church being lazy. The other was complaining about their older members. Is there a difference between a church being tired and being lazy?

Sort of.  Old people are known to be stereotypically tired, curmudgeony, believe themselves to be deserving of respect and admiration, and immune to social norms.  That seems to excuse them from doing the brunt of the work the church needs.  That, and their insistence on being bent over on walkers.

Everyone else is just lazy, but not in the way you’d think.

Americans, in general, are one of the hardest working cultures in the world. I recently had a conversation with a native Australian who confirmed this.  The problem is we work really hard at stuff that doesn’t matter.  We work overtime at jobs we hate, so we can have more money to buy junk we won’t have time to use.  We push our kids into every last activity so they can be ‘well rounded,’ go to college, get jobs they hate, and repeat the cycle.

Then the pastor talks about a need the church has and nobody ‘has time.’ 

I spoke once with a woman whose dad was a preacher. He was forced to re-roof the church himself. Why? No one else would. Onward, Christian soldiers!

Jennifer Taylor: Why do so many Christian leaders avoid conflict instead of dealing with it head on?

Because seminary somehow turns even a 250 pound football player-turned preacher into a giant wimp. We think “spiritual” men pray and weep and hold hands, and never throw down when it comes to moral conflicts, lest they be labeled “hateful.”  A pastor may rather go into politics and just change the laws for everyone, than take care of a problem in his own church.

My dad had this problem. It was a HUGE moral problem in our church. And the people nearby painted him like the bad guy. How? Because he wasn’t acting “spiritual” enough. He wasn’t “praying” (i.e. pussyfooting) around the problem. He was dealing with it like a man. A man of action. And for the record, he was praying more than he ever had before.

Remember, pastors, Paul told the “circumcision” crowd that they might as well castrate themselves, because they were acting so ridiculously. Don’t let your church castrate you.  Pastor’s need gonads.  I don’t know how you feel about women being pastors, but if a woman is going to be a pastor, she’ll need gonads too. 

Tony C: Hey Matt, which disciple do you think had the best sense of humor?

That’s a tough one. Peter was a big dufus. Judas took himself out of the running. Thomas went around acting like an angsty teenager. John and James were too busy arm-wrestling. The one time we see Philip, he’s whining. Andrew was always passing out gospel tracts. Matthew was a tax man. Simon the Zealot? Might as well call him “Simon the Fundamentalist.”  That says it all.  That other James, wasn’t even a colorful enough person to have an original name.

That leaves Thaddeus and Bartholomew. We never see them. They wrote nothing down. My guess is they were the class clowns, judging by how they accomplished nothing of importance in their time as disciples.  If I were going to be in the Bible, I might have tried to say something important at least once.  But I’m not, so I have this blog.

Nugg33: What are the negative effects of Facebook, Twitter, blogs etc? Do they prevent us from interacting with people properly? Do they allow us to talk the talk, without actually living it?

Personally, I have experienced no negative effects from being constantly online. While I don’t get out in the sun anymore, the glow from my computer screen has imparted me with a healthy glowing tan.  Plus, the constant typing and mousing has given my wrists a very manly physique.

There is a fine line between online gaming nerds and online blogging nerds. Gaming nerds are up all hours of the night, talking smack with strangers, eating Cool Ranch Doritos, accomplishing nothing of consequence, drifting through life with little purpose, or prospects for girlfriends.

I, on the other hand…dang it.

That does it for another Open Line Friday. But I need your thoughts in order to do another. Tell me what’s on your mind, on your blog, whatever. Either send a comment, or an email to thechurchofnopeople@gmail.com.