In the spirit of holiday regifting, I’m dredging up another classic holiday blog post, rewritten and repackaged with a bright shiny bow!
And then some teetotaller shows up, and I guess I’m supposed to feel bad about being on my fourth hot toddy at 11 in the morning.
So to clarify, you Christmas Vegans are a pain because your actions make me look bad. While I’m talking about the iPod I got for Christmas, you are talking about the soup kitchen you spent all Christmas working at. It makes me feel a little self conscious, and I’ll thank you to stop. I feel I need to drop the phrase “reason for the season” into conversation with you, or recite the King James version of the Christmas story a la Linus from Charlie Brown.
I need you to know that I love Jesus, perhaps even more than you do. I just love eggnog, cookies, and giving (and getting) presents too. In fact, I can love presents and Jesus, because I just have lots of love in my heart. Some people have enough love for big families. I have enough love for big presents. And I’m sorry you have such a small Grinch heart so you cannot understand that. I’m not going to stop enjoying those things just because a bunch of pagans do that too. Guess what? A bunch of pagans go to church on Christmas too. There. I am justified. You have nothing on me. Enjoy your tofurky, I have a doorbuster deal to grab.
I find myself drawn in. There are definately more Christmas Vegans this year, I’ve noticed. Or at least Christians who are indulging in less. Maybe it’s the economy. But maybe people are genuinely tired of the Christmas rat race.
And I am starting to feel the same way. Your Christmas stinginess and scroogery is making me re-evaluate my own habits. My wife and I realized we could simplify our Christmas just by trimming the budget. Novel idea! For example, we have yet to buy a Christmas tree, ever. Our tree is a trade made with my brother. We also decided we’d trim our gifts that we purchase down by $5-$10 each. We have also made a point that we will not visit the movies on Christmas. That’s just our thing, and I won’t judge you if your family does go to the movies (though you are free to feel judged.)
Wow, I can see why you Christmas Vegans are going for a simpler holiday. I feel holier about myself already, just by telling you all that! Do you need to re-read that list of holy things I’m doing to get some ideas about how to improve yourself? I think I need a reward for being so awesome. Maybe a couple extra cookies tonight.
Are you a Christmas vegan? A carnivore? What’s your favorite “worldly” part of Christmas? What part do you wish would go away? Are you simplifying your Christmas, or do you revel in every candy cane?