Friendly Atheist Arguments

September 16, 2009

Monday, I talked about the useless arguments Christians are prone to use when trying to convince non-believers about God.

Let’s turn the tables. Because there’s a few asinine arguments up a lot of atheists’ sleeve too.

I still stand by what I said that most atheists are lovely people. But I cannot deny that there is a new breed of neo-Atheists who can hardly be called ‘friendly.’ They act as if the very presence of religion makes them completely miserable and bitter.

Fortunately for us, many of the arguments they preach and the ‘regular’ atheists regurgitate are childish and lame.

Six Atheist Arguments Christians Can Easily Answer

Christians are a Bunch of Hypocrites.
I’m sorry you think that.

I’m sorry you think occasionally failing to live up to high ethical standards is the root of all evil. I happen to think having no standards at all would naturally be much more evil.

I’m happy for you that you have no convictions that you might not live up to once in a while.

I’m sorry that Christians are the only people who’ve ever let you down.

And I’m sorry that the only Christians you’ve known in your life were on TV.

Do You Know How Many Wars Have Been Fought in the Name of Christianity?
Three? Four? Ten? I know there’s been a few.

How many wars have been fought in the name of everything else?
Oil? Territory? Dominance? Technology? Culture? Economics? Racism?
War predates Christianity by quite a few years. War wasn’t invented for religion’s sake. Religion is abused for war’s sake.

Lots of other stuff besides war was done in the name of Christianity. Like ending slavery, for one. I guess if you’re a wealthy southern plantation owner, I can see how that would piss you off.

Hitler Was a Christian.
Monday I pointed out that Christians sometimes like to look for a cheap shot when debating atheists by saying Hitler was an atheist. Turns out atheists like to do the same. So if Hitler was a Christian, it must mean that all Christians are harboring an extreme hatred for the world.

So if Hitler was a Christian, and therefore all Christians are like Hitler, then…

…all Muslims must be violent terrorists like Bin Laden,
and all Irish must be rampant loudmouths like Bono.

But of course, saying that would make me politically incorrect and a racist…well, maybe that first one.

The Only Thing Christians Do is Indoctrinate Kids.
I love free thinkers. I used to run into them a lot, but then I became employed. Many of them like to paint Christians as brain-washers.

Tell me, if we’re so good at hypnotizing the masses, how did you escape?

I love how hippie New Age parents want their children to decide for themselves what they’ll be without any parental pressure or guidance. So they dress their kids up like punks to show how much they’re fighting the man, as the parents pretend to not be capitalists. Of course that desire fades as soon as their kids show any interest in becoming Republicans, Christians, CEOs of ‘evil’ corporations, or anything else that’s not a hippie New Ager.

Besides, if you’re so against indoctrination, maybe you should tell Christopher Hitchens to stop writing books.

I am a Scientist. I Take Nothing on Faith.
Good. Then quit using ridiculous arguments, Mr. Scientist.

How many things do you believe that you have actually tested using the scientific method? Have you formed a hypothesis that France exists, despite every logical thread in your being telling you such a place could not possibly exist, formulate an experiment to test the existence of France, record your findings, repeat said experiment, and correctly conclude that despite all odds and wishes to the contrary, France does indeed exist.

No you didn’t. You took it on authority that your third grade teacher was not a liar. And you’ve been drinking science-flavored kool-aid your entire life.

I Don’t Need a God to Tell Me to Be Good. I’m Good for It’s Own Sake.
Good. Because if you ever failed at that, you’d be a hypocrite. That would make you the root of all evil.

I haven’t touched all their arguments, and haven’t even done the best job at answering them. Then again, they write books about God not existing, and this blog is a few hundred words I wrote in my spare time.

What are some of the lame arguments you’ve heard? I’m even more interested in hearing what was something that made you doubt Christianity when your faith and knowledge was not so strong?

3 responses to Friendly Atheist Arguments

  1. why can't xians understand that they are themselves atheists? (Unless, of course, they also believe in Zeus, Dionysus, or any of the 100+ g0ds that have "existed." Oh. Yeah. Those g0ds aren't real.) Do some research, and you'll discover- like me- that you're just delusional with your imaginary friend in the sky.

  2. Wow. Every sentence of this garbage drips with intellectual dishonesty and fallacy. Where to begin:
    First and foremost you assume that the burden of proof is on the skeptic rather than the believer who is making the absurd claim. No my friend. Extraordinary claims always require extraordinary evidence.
    Secondly the atheist refutations that you site are not even close to typical. "hitler was a Christian" is a true claim, but is almost never used unless the Christian tries to say that he was an atheist.
    Thirdly, Christians absolutely DO indoctrinate their children. The children of Christians are told WHAT to think instead of HOW to think. They are almost never instilled with the skills of critical thinking or taught to demand evidence or ask why. Your pathetic response to this criticism "Tell me, if we're so good at hypnotizing the masses, how did you escape?" is both childish and foolish. The answer to this absurd rhetoric is simple: We asked "why?" and demanded evidence.
    Your monstrosity of an argument "I am a Scientist. I Take Nothing on Faith." is laughably ignorant and typical of the Christian community. The difference between the understandings of a scientist and the nonsensical magical beliefs of the Christian is the fact that the scientific facts are demonstrable and supported by evidence, while the best Christian argument ever devised remains "Believe in Jesus or we'll burn you at the stake".
    "I Don't Need a God to Tell Me to Be Good. I'm Good for It's Own Sake." It's funny because you go on to say "I haven't touched all their arguments, and haven't even done the best job at answering them". This is clearly true because you didn't even TRY to answer this one.

  3. To TheLostRealist:

    You claim that the burden of proof is on the skeptic instead of the believer. However given archeological, historical, astronomical, mathematical, and the research involved in physics, metaphysics and theoretical physics the proof points to God. In this particular case actually it requires (as many well known scientists, historians, and so forth believe) more faith to claim there is no god.Understanding the context and historical analysis of the Bible, DNA sequencing, fine-tuning of the universe, cambrian explosion and so forth are your evidence. Atheism now is based off of logical arguments dismissed under factual scrutiny. Secondly, Hitler was not a Christian, any historian and true scholar knows that, atheist or otherwise. As for Christian children being "indoctrinated"…Thats clearly an argument out of ignorance. By your logic no Christian raised would become intelligent, and if you haven't done your research trust me there are many…
    You claim our beliefs are "magical", and yet if you truly hold them under scrutiny they prevail, more than that they prove. You claim to understand as a scientist does and yet you provide no proof or logical argument whatsoever. But i do agree, if our best argument ever was "Believe in Jesus or we'll burn you at the stake," we would have quite a problem. But this is clearly not the case. Instead i challenge you to actually examine fact, science, and history for what they entail, and not what your science text book once told you.