Free XXX Christian Porn!

September 2, 2009

First, if you’re looking for porn, I apologize, because there will be a lot of you who will be disappointed. You can’t use this stuff. It’s too hard, too weird, too unnatural for anyone’s deviant taste. This porn is only for Christians. If you’re not into the freaky religious stuff, you’ll be disappointed and probably grossed out, making it impossible to enjoy any other porn for the rest of the day.

But if you’re a Christian, have I got something for you. Christians don’t like porn, except for the millions who secretly do like porn. But I’ve got the best porn for Christians. This thought came to me when a reader was soliciting suggestions for blogs to follow. They stipulated “no Joel Osteen and no porn.” And naturally, I put the two in the same box…

Four Reasons the Prosperity Gospel is Christian Porn

It’s Addictive
Porn is one hard drug. Like alcohol, nicotine, or gambling, or hard drugs, it’s hard to break a porn habit once it’s started. First, because most porn addicts don’t want to admit they have a problem. But even if they do, even if they resolve with all their might not to go back to porn, they still go back in a moment of weakness.

Prosperity gospels are like that. Most addicts are in the phase where they don’t realize they’re an addict, or that they’re even using a drug. That’s how subtle it is. But a prosperity gospel gives the user a high that few things can match. They leave church feeling orgasmically great about themselves – like everything is possible! And they’ll keep coming back, again and again for that completely victorious high.

It’s Diminishing
That’s the awful thing about addictions. The amazing substance you’re addicted to gradually loses its pleasure. An addict needs more, stronger, harder stuff to get the same pleasure. That’s called the law of diminishing returns.

I just wonder how many prosperity addicts pause in the middle of the show they’re panting over and realize that it doesn’t stack up to real life. In fact, the more promises those guys make, the more promises are broken! The longer one listens to prosperity gospels, the less fulfilling it actually is! They need more promises to satisfy their fetish because the promises so rarely come through!

But prosperity is addicting because it diminishes. No matter how much you have, there’s always the promise of more. Just like a porn addict satisfies the craving and swears it’ll be the last time ever. There’s always a next time, a new promise of pleasure.

Maybe the prosperity gospel was never meant to come true, just provide a daily escape into fantasy. The promise is more arousing than reaching the actual goal.

It’s Easy
Porn is super easy, in more than one way. It’s so much easier to fulfill your own fantasies than try to fulfill someone else’s. No one ever says how much dang work sex is. And porn is also easier to get than ever. In fact, we can thank the relentless pursuit of porn for pushing technology forward in the pursuit of easiness. From movie screens to VHS to DVD to the internet, the many temporarily-satisfied porn customers have been at the forefront of new technological convenience.

The thousands of prosperity users are the platform to push the prosperity gospel into mainstream Christianity, like a new super crisp HD gospel. It’s so much easier to follow a prosperity gospel than actually do what Jesus taught. There was nothing convenient about Jesus. In fact, I can think of several ways my life would be easier if I weren’t a Christian. But a fulfilling walk with Christ demands committment to his words. Just like a fulfilling marriage requires the hard work of figuring what makes your partner tick, and not just yourself.

It’s Cheap
Porn cheapens people. It reduces them to a grab-bag of body parts that will do whatever you want, and enjoy it too. For an internet subscription, or a few bucks, you can use someone for your own purposes. It really is cheap!

Prosperity gospels cheapen God. It changes a user’s perception of reality. Faith is only the carrot to get God to do all the things we lust after. That’s a really original idea, except it’s what people have been trying to do since the beginning of time, like putting Him on stage and throwing dollar bills at Him for a performance. It exchanges truth for an arousing image and a cheap thrill. How about faith when God doesn’t do any of the things you would like? That’s expensive, inconvenient faith.

There’s nothing more convenient, addicting and cheap than living in America with ridiculous amounts of wealth, healthcare, food and possessions, then looking at a preacher in a book or a screen or a show while pleasuring yourself with the idea that God wants you to have more.

More? More money! More prosperity! Oh, God, yes! Yes! YES! Hallelujah!

What say you? What other ways can you think to compare prosperity gospels to any other drug?

10 responses to Free XXX Christian Porn!

  1. Very thoughtful post, the prosperity gospel is like gangrene. If there was a way to describe unbiblical doctrine as food, the prosperity gospel would be frosted covered saw-dust.

  2. If it's not all about the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it's not the gospel. The prosperity gospel is about us. Uh oh… I think they mean well, and yes God does love us, but we his humble servants, he is the master. We need to keep our eyes on the real prize, which is our redemption, and relationship with God. It's not what God can do for you, but what you can do to serve God. If you are faithful with the money He has given you, then you may very well receive more, but for what purpose? For your personal enjoyment? No. For the kingdom. I'm glad to see this discussion taking place. God bless you all.

  3. Awesome post! You summed up both addictions quite well!

  4. Jonathan Siggy Sigmon December 21, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Very good post. I love the analogy. The prosperity gospel is so damaging. Thanks for your writings.

  5. Wow, from someone who was addicted to porn, and in fact still battles the images everyday, I can understand each and every point made in your article. And it pegged it right between the eyes. Great article. Keep it coming!

  6. You know nothing about Joel osteen and I would dare say you don't know the countless lives saved and ministered to through his ministry nor the millions of dollars they pour into helping the poor and needy. Prosperity is a tenet of the gospel or good news,and alhpugh some take it to extremes you cannot throw the baby out with the bathwater. To put porn and this idea of extreme prosperity teaching together is negligent on your part as a mature Christian and totally absurd. What iasi wrong about people believing God for a better job, health and a good family? Come backto center and stop beating up ministers of the gospel just because their gift made room for them and brought them some wealth, charlatans exist true, but Joel is not one of them.

  7. My husband and my pastor met with a grandmother raising her 4 grandkids yesterday. Among other topics that came up, one of them was Joel Osteen. Here's what she said:

    "Joel Osteen's message is okay for every day I guess, but he needs to be getting those people ready to die."

    I thought that was pretty profound.

  8. Jarell Rochelle January 2, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    I have to ask everyone who agrees that pg (prosperity) is bad, are you serious? I've seen 36 comments and only one said something that held significance (Pharisees and judgment). Of coarse prosperity preaching is not for everyone but can we look at the main objective here?

    If a brother or sister comes to the lord by prosperity preaching, realism preaching, etc. should we share joy in the lord that he ruled over their heart? Is that not more important? See the enemy (Satan) wants you to become confused in a lies, for he is deemed accuser of brethren and almost everyone on the forum accused pg preaching as wrong. We are fighting the wrong battle. We should not be concerned with pg preaching being wrong…………………….

    we should be concerned how can we share with people that the lord is right by whatever means Baptist, catholic, white, black, blue, yellow, pg, x rated whatever!?

    Also if Im not mistaken for most of you all on here said prosperity teaching is what first brought you to the lord. Eventually you realized it wasn’t for you and left, you have to do what’s best for you and that’s understood but for some, pg preaching works for them; furthermore, who are we to condemn preachers to doing what the lord set in their hearts to do. Which is to reach out and introduce people to the lord, which I myself have seen very many of the pastors that have been mentioned do.

    I know someone hears this, thanks for the time just joined the blog today because of this conversation  and I am not personally attacking anyone, just a deep routed issue with Christianity and belief in the lord we need to see bigger pictures, all of us, including myself.

  9. Jarell Rochelle January 2, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    I have to ask everyone who agrees that pg (prosperity) is bad, are you serious? I've seen 36 comments and only one said something that held significance (Pharisees and judgment). Of coarse prosperity preaching is not for everyone but can we look at the main objective here?

    If a brother or sister comes to the lord by prosperity preaching, realism preaching, etc. should we share joy in the lord that he ruled over their heart? Is that not more important? See the enemy (Satan) wants you to become confused in a lies, for he is deemed accuser of brethren and almost everyone on the forum accused pg preaching as wrong. We are fighting the wrong battle. We should not be concerned with pg preaching being wrong…………………….

    we should be concerned how can we share with people that the lord is right by whatever means Baptist, catholic, white, black, blue, yellow, pg, x rated whatever!?

    Also if Im not mistaken for most of you all on here said prosperity teaching is what first brought you to the lord. Eventually you realized it wasn’t for you and left, you have to do what’s best for you and that’s understood but for some, pg preaching works for them; furthermore, who are we to condemn preachers to doing what the lord set in their hearts to do. Which is to reach out and introduce people to the lord, which I myself have seen very many of the pastors that have been mentioned do.

    I know someone hears this, thanks for the time just joined the blog today because of this conversation  and I am not personally attacking anyone, just a deep routed issue with Christianity and belief in the lord we need to see bigger pictures, all of us, including myself.

  10. Christian porn is amazinggggg!