Christian Music Revival!

July 8, 2009
What’s wrong with Christian music?

Christian music is often the black sheep of the music industry. It almost never gets on the radio, never achieves mainstream popularity. Aside from a few standouts, Christian music is kind of behind the curve.

Why is this? Is it because the audience is smaller, the art form newer? I wondered if Christians music was just at an evolutionary disadvantage. I decided to investigate the roots of the Christian music industry, the vinyl days, the glory days of gospel music.

My discoveries were shocking. Truth be told, I can’t figure out how Christianity made it this far. I have no idea how many records these musicians sold. It could have been a million, more likely it was 10 close relatives who felt guilty.

Well, Larry doesn’t show up half the time,
and Betty is a woman. So it’s still a quartet.

Why don’t you just play your guitar and accordian…
On second thought, go ahead and sing.

Worse. Slumber Party. Ever.
Also, worst use of apostrophe’s ever.

Jerry the Exciting! Also doesn’t know how to use apostrophe’s.
But I’ve got to get ‘God’s Gonna Getcha’ For That’ for my iPod.

Best. Earring. Ever.

I’ve got some excess Dwainage.
Who knew this guy would grow up and become “The Rock?”

The Coloniel’s Extra Crispy Gospel Music

I’d be careful who you touch with that trumpet.
Look for Phil’s follow up album, ‘A Caress of Cornet’

Look at these youthes! They’re already used!
Daddy keeps Bobby in the basement because he was naughty.

Bobby Grove and his traveling circus.
Wait, is Bobby singing or talking?

Anyone actually heard of any of these fine musical talents? Found these records in your grandparents’ basement?