Something’s wrong with our Jesus.

For a long time, the number of women and children in church has greatly outnumber the dudes. Why is this? I think it’s partly because guys don’t think they can relate to Jesus. We’ve painted him as this meek, wobbly spined little guy who wasn’t a real man. Thus, church is a place for women and children and weak men, the kind of people Jesus related to.

Wrong.

Jesus was a real man. A man’s man. The kind of guy who, if he weren’t the Son of God, would help you fix your roof, would bring steaks over for a barbecue, and throw down if some drunk guy was asking for it. In fact, Jesus was the father of all ‘real men.’ All real men are just copying Jesus in some way. Jesus had many sides to him, but today, we’re only focusing on the one that gets ignored too often. Behold, the raw power of Jesus’ perfect masculinity.

Jesus: A Real Man in Five Steps

Jesus could fix anything.
While many guys today are content with calling a real man whenever something breaks around the house, Jesus certainly didn’t have to. Know why? Cause he built the dang house with his bare hands! Jesus learned his father’s trade of carpentry, and could probably out shop-class most guys including Ty Pennington any day of the week, and without the use of duct tape or frosted spiky hair. Now where did Jesus get all that wood he used to build stuff? I have a suspicion that Jesus was a lumberjack, one of the most manly of all male jobs. Except that after Jesus had his breakfast of sheep jerky and put on his plaid robe and his hat with the earflaps, he didn’t spend all day sawing on some tree like a jerk. He just cursed the tree and it fell over and died! Jesus could have knocked down a whole forest while Little Susy Lumberjack is still working on one lousy tree. Manly.

Jesus didn’t take crap from religious types.
A bunch of people told Jesus he was going to hell. Know what he did? Went right up to the biggest, toughest priest he could find and said, ‘I’ve got a beef with you.’ He got up in their grills and told them they were going to hell. Direct and to the point, like a real man should be. He didn’t take it quietly when jerks went around saying he was in league with Satan and he wasn’t afraid to make a scene.

And while Jesus could be nice, like with women or animals, I don’t think he was being his ‘meek’ self when throwing down with Pharisees. He probably pumped himself up by getting a determined scowl on his face and growling at himself in the mirror. Men don’t smile when their about to eat someone for lunch. They scowl. Like this:

Speaking of making a scene…

Jesus totally wailed on a bunch of people, and no one did anything about it.
So Jesus goes to Jerusalem, and he’s getting super mad at all those deadbeats in the temple. So he just sits in his house, and it’s pitch black, except for this little sliver of light on his eyes. There’s some eerie music, maybe some smoke rising from the floor. He’s shining up his Winchester rifle really good, which in those days was called a ‘whip.’ He probably does some push-ups. Then he just non-chalantly goes to church…and kicks everyone’s butt! He’s going nuts, and this guitar is wailing in the background. Everyone’s running in slow motion and yelling, ‘Noooooo!’ and this money changer is so scared, he pees in his pants.

The one time Jesus did get wailed on: that time he got beat for a solid day and then got nailed to a piece of wood, and was legally dead for three days – that one time…even that couldn’t keep him down! Nothing’s more manly than standing back up from a royal beating, especially one that leaves you dead. And then he hunts down his friends who shrieked and ran off like a bunch of pre-teen girls when he was arrested…and Peter thinks Jesus is going to wail on him now…but instead they just hugged it out. That’s what guys do. They don’t hold stupid grudges. They hug it out. Manly.

Jesus never had a girlfriend.
Women today are told that it’s very feminine to not have a husband, be independent. Guess what – it works both way. The only thing manlier than having a hot babe on your arm is not having a hot babe clinging to your arm (provided it happens in this specific way.) Now, being a young and eligible bachelor, I have to think that there had to be at least one or two ladies who may have had their eye on Jesus. So maybe one of them comes up and is like, ‘How about dinner, Jesus?’ and he just says, ‘How about a forty day walk in the desert with no dinner?’ Like I said, Jesus was friendly toward the ladies, but he had stuff to do, and cuddling with some girl on his mom’s couch and shopping at Gap wasn’t on the list. He was a lone wolf.

Have you ever thought about how much Jesus walked? Oh, only all around Israel, TWICE! In shoes that weren’t much more than a dead animal’s skin strapped to his feet. That’s why he could wail on people so well. Like this guy: Anyway, Jesus probably had at least one lady interested in him, but he’s always like ‘Where my boys at?’ and chillin’ with his homies. What if Jesus was a real live heartbreaker? What if his animal skin shoes were still attached to the animals? What if those animals were still alive? The only thing better than a Chuck Norris brand roundhouse kick to the face would be one with live animal shoes. Chuck would roundhouse kick some jerk and as his foot hits the guy’s face, this live badger punches him in the mouth.

Jesus cried (when necessary)
Nothing’s more unmanly than a testosterone filled block-head that thinks all sign of human feeling must be purged from his being. Guys like this usually doubt their masculinity, then compensate for it with a car or a hot babe or something ridiculous.

Not Jesus. His boy Lazarus dies, he cries a little bit. He’s not made of stone. Even Jack Bauer cried…that one time.

There you have it. Jesus was the dude to begin and end all dudes, not some milktoast wimp. What makes a real man to you? What’s the manliest of all male characteristics? Who are some real men today, and some imposters?

It’s great to be a 21st century Christian. Whether you are a Catholic, a Baptist, a Methodist or some kind of miscellaneous ‘Christ follower,’ life is good. We have access to great theology, we have great Christian music, and we are able to share an incredible amount of ideas on how to be better Christians.

But we musn’t forget that our church today owes a lot to Christians of yesteryear and the ideas and theology that we have since been able to build upon. Had you been alive when these Christians were thriving, you would be proud to call yourself among their kind, and should still be today!

Awesome Christians Who No Longer Exist

Puritans
When I think of Puritans, several adjectives come to mind:
Tolerant
Snappy Clothing
Forgiving
Enjoying Life
Not Burning Women at the Stake

In fact, the Puritans so embodied these characteristics that their name has become a slang when you want to compliment someone.

‘Is she really wearing that on her date? Is she trying to look like a Puritan!’
‘Our sex education books look like they were written by Puritans!’

Puritans also showed us that the proper length for sermons is somewhere between 3 and 5 hours, that women should not speak in church, and that all entertainment, music and holidays are evil.

Puritan history pretty much goes like this:

Puritan Pastor: ‘We have arrived in America. We have escaped the cruel religious persecution of England. Now we can worship freely as we choose!’

Elias: ‘Pastor, I was thinking about your sermon, and I’m just not sure…’

Puritan Pastor: ‘Persecute him!’

Deacon: ‘What are you wearing? Is that a red ribbon in your hair?’

Puritan Pastor: ‘Persecute her!’

Ebenezer: ‘This one’s a witch!’

Silas: ‘Set up our ‘burnin’ stakes!’

Shakers
Shakers were like Puritans on steroids. Not to be confused with Quakers who gave us Pennsylvania, oatmeal, and motor oil (and still exist), Shakers were like the Pentecostal New Agers of the time. They believed in finding God within yourself. Sounds appealing. They used song and dance in worship, so far so good. But above all else, we can thank the Shakers for giving us the cherished and age old notion that sex is an instrument of the devil. Praise the Lord, we no longer have to feel some modicum of pleasure in life without feeling guilty about it.

Shaker history goes like this:

Church Visitor: ‘Well I quite liked your worship service. Thanks for inviting me.’

Shaker Pastor: ‘Oh we’re so glad you came. Have some of this delightful pound cake!’

Church Visitor: ‘Mmmm, it’s quite good. Say, I notice there’s no children here.’

Shaker Pastor: ‘That’s right. We believe…’it’ is evil. We don’t do it at all!’

Church Visitor: ‘Welp, see you later!’

Somehow, three centuries later, four Shakers still exist. Don’t know how that happened.

The Peoples’ Temple
When you visit a church and Pastor Jim Jones is funding the building by selling pet monkeys door to door, you know you’ve visited the right place.

Pastor Jones proved that you can be a Methodist, an Advenist, an Integrationist, a Marxist, a Messiah and an Atheist all at once and come out all right. He also gave us reason to add ‘drinking the kool-aid’ to our vocabulary.

Whenever someone asks me about my house church, and they’re giving a puzzled or suspicous look, I say, ‘Hold on, I’ve got to finish making the kool-aid. Sunday’s a big day!’

The Inquisitors
While not a denomination, Inquisitors were the church’s personal goons and henchmen hired to root out heretics with tactics such as making victims sit in ‘comfy chairs.’ The Inquisition represents one of the more awesome times in church history. One might be afraid that the church today will be taken over by heretics without any more Inquisitors, but thankfully, there are still people carrying the torch, such as…

Westboro Baptist Church
While not belonging to any Baptist denomination, Westboro Baptist and Pastor Fred Phelps are kicking it old school with down home damnation served up hot for everyone. Thanks to this church’s tireless efforts, we now know that God hates homosexuals, as well as Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and America because they all tolerate homosexuals. I’m glad I live just 90 miles from this guy.

Thus, we can be sure that the long and storied tradition of awesome Christians will continue long after we are gone. The Puritans, Shakers, Inquisitors are all gone. One day, Westboro Baptist will be gone. But their legacy will live on.

What is your favorite defunct Christians group? Do you think your church or denomination will last until the end of the world? What will be it’s contribution?

Happy Friday, everyone! As you can see to the right of the page, our Televangelist Knock-Out contest has come to an end…or has it? Thanks for helping make it so much fun with your votes and comments!

I’ve got a special Friday list for you. TV shows run a great deal on the power of caricatures. Most every people group is represented on TV – in broad sweeping strokes that make them easy to identify and relate to. People in Missouri who have never been to New York know how New Yorkers act.

Christians, as the dominate religious group in the country don’t escape the satirical spotlight. Maybe you cringe when you see a Christian being roasted a little on TV, but I can’t help but have a little fun with it too. Here’s five of my most memorable, over-the-top, or endearing TV Christians.

Ned Flanders – The Simpsons
‘Hi-diddly-ho, neighboreeno!’
This one is obvious, if only because Ned Flanders is such a classic character on a long-running show. Technically, almost everyone in Springfield are Christians, as most of them can be seen attending the one church in town. But Ned and his wife Maude and sons Rod and Todd are the only ones who could be considered ‘born again.’ Ned is Homer Simpson’s unfailingly kind, but overtly annoying neighbor (he even manages to grate of the nerves of the apathetic Reverend Lovejoy.)

Interestingly, Ned rarely serves as a ‘straw man.’ Ned is generally a great guy, a real man, husband and father in contrast to Homer’s selfishness, stupidity, and ineptitude. And Ned’s religiosity has been vindicated from time to time. As Homer’s house burns and the fire spreads to the Flanders,’ Homer notices that God didn’t save the home of the most religious guy in town…at which point, God immediately sends a rain cloud to douse only Ned’s home, which quickly clears to reveal a rainbow.

Angela Martin – The Office
‘The DaVinci Code. I would bring to the island The DaVinci Code…so I could burn The DaVinci Code.’
Angela is the subtle office Christian: a notorious cat lady and ruthless ruler of the Party Planning Committee. Angela dresses in a Puritanical fashion, but has had many secret liasons with co-worker Dwight, who credited her with ‘introducing him to monotheism.’ Angela has been seen to pray when under duress, belt out ‘Little Drummer Boy’ at the office Christmas party, and likes posters of babies dressed as adults. Although she was introduced as a Christian early in the show, the subject of her faith is rarely discussed. Angela Kinsey, the actress is listed by Wikipedia as an active member of Bel-Air Presbyterian Church.

Church Lady – Saturday Night Live
‘Well isn’t that special!’
Dana Carvey’s depiction is the little old lady who has nothing better to do but go to church all the time…and judge everyone else on their lack of piety. Everything she doesn’t approve of is attributable to Satan and subject to damnation, especially fornication. Carvey says that the character was based on a lady in his childhood church who kept track of everyone’s attendance. Church lady seems unbeatably pious, except for one other ‘church lady’ who may have her beat.

Hyacinth Bucket – Keeping Up Appearances
‘It’s pronounced ‘BOUQUET!’ B-U-C-K-E-T! ‘BOUQUET!”
The title of this classic British TV show says it all. Hyacinth Bucket is a hyper-critical social climber who manages to undo her entire agenda by her own obnoxiousness. Her hen-pecked husband, relatives, and Vicar silently tolerate her existence as she insults, manipulates, and puts down everyone she meets. Everything she does is the best way, of course. The younger women at church simply do not know how to put on a proper luncheon! Sadly, I knew a real-life Mrs. Bucket, and she truly was the undoing of an entire church…

Kenneth Parcell – 30 Rock
‘I don’t vote Republican or Democrat…I just write in the Lord’s name!’
Kenneth the page, the assistant to everyone at NBC studios, is the cuddly cute, sugary sweet, impeccably innocent real life Ned Flanders. Kenneth is always extremely happy and helpful, except when helping you would be a sin, but he doesn’t judge you for what you’re about to do. At the end of the day, Kenneth proves that chivalry isn’t dead. He’s someone that everyone can count on and is easy for the audience to love, although he gets about as much adult respect as your little cousin. Kenneth’s actual faith surfaces very little, but just enough that you know what he is. He comes out on top as one of the more positive, though subtle Christian characters on TV today.

So, Christian men are more effeminate and impossibly nice and forgiving than is even possible for most women, while Christian women are more dominating and critical than is possible for most men. Most pastors seem to be more level-headed than their parishoners, if not apathetic. Now you know how to construct a Christian caricature!

What do you think about Christians being portrayed in TV? Are they lighthearted jabs at a powerful segment of our society, or something more sinister? Do Christians get the ‘business’ any more than Jews, Mexicans, Muslims, New Yorkers, Hindus, Gays, Democrats, Republicans, or any other segment of society? Does it make a Christian caricature more tolerable to you if a Christian is playing that part? Who are your favorite Christian TV characters?

Some say that actions speak louder than words – that a loving act of mercy will convert a sinner to Christ far faster than debating theology.

But what is the zealously evangelistic Christian to do when he’s driving down the road and some godless heathen driving next to him obviously needs to be witnessed to? A good deed is impossible, and as tempting as it may be, rolling down your window and yelling, ‘You’re going to hell!’ probably isn’t practical.

Next best thing: bumper sticker evangelism.

Bumper stickers have all the benefits of gospel tract evangelism, and then some. Consider this:
People cannot help but read bumper stickers.
Bumper stickers follow this general rule: more is better.
Bumper stickers spontaneously evangelize other drivers without any input from you!
When people realize you are a Christian, they will think highly of you and your opinions.

With all those benefits, I’m ashamed that Christians don’t have more stickers on their cars. Here in the Kansas City metro, Christians can be a little timid about their beliefs on the road. As I travel southward to see family in the Ozarks however, I always know I’m nearing my destination as the concentration of bumper stickers increases. I’m in God’s land.

I’m not saying advertising your faith on your Toyota is bad. But some people do it better than others! To help you in this all-important realm of Christian life, I’ve created a handy scoring guide to help you know how good a bumper sticker evangelist YOU are!

1. You place a simple Jesus fish on your car. People are blessed by you every time you yield to them in heavy traffic: +1 point.

2. You react to that awful ‘Darwin fish’ by getting a ‘Truth fish’ eating the Darwin fish. That should be the last word: +2 points.

3. Uh-oh. Those sneaky Darwinists just came up with the ‘Dinosaur eating the Jesus fish.’ You now place on your car ‘God striking the dinosaur dead with a meteor.’ Checkmate: +5 points.

4. Your bumper sticker says ‘Christians Aren’t Perfect, Just Saved,’ breaking the epidemic delusion that Christians are in fact perfect, plus a passive-agressive bonus point for still whispering ‘You’re going to hell’: +2 points.
5. Your bumper sticker says ‘Real Men Love Jesus.’ No better way to break the ice than to insult a guy’s manhood. Guys love that: +2 points.

6. You bumper sticker simply says ‘Got Jesus?’ Yes I do, for strong healthy bones: +1 point.

7. You remind people to ‘Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly’ which apparently is no faster than the posted legal speed limit. Give yourself another passive-agressive bonus point for giving a ‘tsk tsk’ to others for a ‘sin’ you obviously never break: +2 points.

8. Your Jesus bumper sticker sits next to your advertisement of: your political party, your stance on the environment, gays, war, a presidential candidate, unions, America, or your ownership of guns. One of the first things Jesus taught was the importance of good citizenship under Roman rule. +2 points.

9. Creating your own bumper sticker when your pet issue just isn’t covered by those ‘Hallmark’ stickers.
Referencing an obscure theological argument: +1 point.
Referencing Bible verses people don’t know: +1 point each.
Calling other Christians heretics: +3 points.

10. Your bumper sticker reads ‘In case of Rapture, this car is yours:’ + 1 point.

11: Your ‘Rapture’ bumper sticker is actually on a car someone would want: +3 points.

12. Knowing that lots of stickers on one car is really annoying to look at, you justify yourself by condemning everyone who doesn’t have lots of Jesus stickers: +10 points.

0-6 points: You are a Carpool Christian: willing to go along with the crowd, as long as someone else is driving.

7-15 points: You are a budding bumper sticker evanglist. Keep a running tally of mileage you drive and multiply by 1.25 to find the number of souls you have saved!

16 points or more: You are a Holy Roller, a sermon on wheels! Your car also has a soul and it will be joining you in your heavenly garage, where there will be no more leaking of oil or rusting of parts.

How did you do? What are some of your favorite Jesus related bumper stickers?

I detest shopping at Wal*Mart.

It’s not that I have any beef with the company. I just dislike having to be inside one of their stores. I feel like a piece of processed cheese when I’m done. I got spoiled by living in the city for a couple of years, several inconvenient miles away from the nearest Wal*Mart. I was gradually ‘detoxed’ from my need to go to that store. That sounded funny as I wrote it. I got spoiled by living far away from a Wal*Mart.

It was different in our small college town, where the only thing to do was go to Wal*Mart. It was a big deal when they did a trial 24 hour schedule. A bunch of us purposefully saved our shopping needs for midnight, to prove to them they needed to keep the store open all the time. I needs my animal crackers and cans of frosting right now! I don’t care if it’s 3 am! And now a bunch of people are working the graveyard shift at a small town store, years after I left that place. I like to think I helped them out, and that makes me feel good.

But now I hate Wal*Mart. Our local store is particularly bad. It’s just poorly laid out to try to get in and out of. It’s on a busy corner, the parking lot is too small, the store is a mess, and I usually cannot find what I need if it is an emergency. That makes me sound like an old man: ‘This gat dang store is too gat dang big! I can’t find any gat dang thing I need!’

Plus, have you ever noticed how people behave in Wal*Mart? It is the bottom of the barrel of family outings. People don’t bother to bathe or dress in something other than sweatpants. They act like rabid heynas at the $5 DVD bin. People definately are not on their ‘best behavior’ in this theater of uncensored human nature. Why bother? It’s Wal*Mart. I treat it the same way you probably do.

You may have noticed that I’m being sure to call it Wal*Mart, and not Wal-Mart. That’s an important distinction. Wal-Mart evolved into a Wal*Mart: a small town open all the time that can provide you with every concievable need at a reasonable price. They added the word SuperCenter to the Wal*Mart. It’s no longer merely a ‘store,’ it’s a ‘Center,’ a SuperCenter. I tease my friend because he lives near the last Wal-Mart left in America. It just says something about your neighborhood when even Wal-Mart doesn’t care anymore.

It’s probably my feelings about my local Wal*Mart SuperCenter which have contributed to the thoughts I have when I pass by a local “Worship Center.” That just means ‘Church,’ but it’s not just a church, it’s so much more! It’s a Worship Center!

Maybe you go to a Worship Center and find it all very appealing and fulfilling. That’s fine, I’m not trying to make you feel bad about your church, er ‘Worship Center.’ My impression of these places by and large is this:

Worship Centers are very large places, like Wal*Mart.
Worhsip Centers have many many ministries to meet everyone’s needs, like Wal*Mart.
Worship Centers are a pain to get in and out of, like Wal*Mart.

Calling your church something other than ‘church’ is very popular. Like calling a church building a facility, or a campus. or the sanctuary an auditorium, or Sunday School somthing like a life impact group. I went to a church for a year that had actually thought of an awesomely cool and confusing name for bulletins. They called them kairos. Don’t ask me how they came up with that or what it means. Anything to make it sound like something other than church, please!

And yeah, we named our church Levi’s House, because it’s a conversation piece. No hint of ‘church’ at all in the name. I’ll tell you about it if you ask nicely. So I’m guilty too. But we didn’t call it Levi’s*Super*24 hour*Worship*Center*North Campus.

It’s not that Worship Centers are inherently bad as churches. You’ll see of my three impressions above, only one of those is a definately bad thing! My thought here is that ‘church,’ which used to be the centerpiece of Sunday, is starting to sound more like one item on a crowded weekend list of things to do.

Wal*Mart, Grocery Store, Worship Center.
Check. Check. And Check. Got everything on my list done! Let’s go to Jamba Juice.

Furthermore, a huge Worship Center on the street corner gives off the same vibe to all us small church pastors as a Wal*Mart gives to that struggling ‘Mom and Pop’ store.

Wal*Mart: ‘Well well, if it isn’t a small local retail store! I didn’t see you there. How’s business working out for you?’

Worship Center: ‘And look at this, why it’s a small local ‘Church!’ You still call it that? That’s quaint; it goes with your adorable little steeple and stained glass windows. But where is your parking garage? Oh, your congregation is only in the double digits. That’s cute. Don’t mind me, I’m just looking around. I’m new in town.’

Wal*Mart: ‘Hey, Worship Center, this ‘Church’ doesn’t even have a McDonald’s on his campus! Reminds me of that little family owned Hardware Store I met last Christmas. Does he expect people to bring their own food or something?’

Worship Center: ‘You call it what? A potluck? Hmmm…I guess I just believe in providing something for people, rather than asking them to do all the work for themselves. Like this new granite ball fountain I just got last month. All the biggest corporate offices are getting one. Visitors are absolutely enthralled and enchanted by it!’

Wal*Mart: ‘That’s pretty sweet. I’m selling a mini version of those for $7.99.’

Is ‘church’ changing from a sacred place and time to an ordinary place and time? As it goes from ‘Church’ to ‘Worship*Super*Center,’ will people start to treat ‘church’ differently? If we make it sound like all the other places people go on a weekend, will they eventually start to treat it that way, like just another stop between Wal*Mart and the Grocery Store?

Or are churches better off trying to be more appealing by dropping ‘church’ from the name?

Laaaadies and Gennnntlemen! Tonight is the big face off, our final round in the climactic clash of our televangelist titans, our anointed all-stars!

Our contestants today have survived two rounds thanks to your generous votes and heart-felt adoration and praise! Today, they will need you more than ever as they meet to find out who is the baddest TV preacher of them all!

I give you:
Joel Osteen
Born: March 5, 1963
Height: 5’11″
Standing Army: 40,000

First, Robert Schuller fell, then Joel Osteen squared off against Jerry Falwell. As the two opponents stared each other down, it was clear it would be another close fight. Would Falwell be able to endure with his immortal stamina and the following of thousands of deceased saints and Reagan supporters?

As the round wore on, all bets were off. Each strike landed was answered by another. It looked as if Falwell might pull it off as Osteen struggled and became discouraged. Like kryptonite to Superman, Osteen’s discouragement crippled him as he fell into a spiral of low self-esteem and self-doubt. But suddenly, when he could not go any further, when all hope was lost, Osteen’s army of loyals started chanting, ‘This is my Bible. I can do what it says I can do.”

With a surge of mighty energy and renewed faith, Osteen rose from the floor, wiped his brow, and the rest is history. Falwell didn’t even know what hit him.

T.D. Jakes
Born: June 9, 1957
Height: 6’3″
Standing Army: 30,000

No one has been able to stand in the way of T.D. Jakes, as he has sweated and shouted his way through two rounds. The first was a complete blow-out against Pat Robertson. In the second round, it seemed he would be more evenly matched against John Hagee. Hagee came in fresh from his win, with all the fire, brimstone and Israeli nuclear air-strikes he could muster.

Alas, there was no contest. Every strike Hagee landed seemed only to strengthen Jakes as he landed two strikes to each of Hagee’s. His shouting power completely drowned out his opponents warnings of impending Armageddon. It wasn’t the end of the world, but the end of the contest for John Hagee.

Today, a younger, nimble flyweight Joel Osteen faces off against the towering TD Jakes. Osteen comes to the field of battle physically outmatched but with an immortal smile and an army 10,000 stronger than his opponent. Some would question if this will be enough to come out the champion, when he has barely edged out a win in the first two rounds. Don’t count him out just yet. Osteen is the guy who won America’s hearts just by saying “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can…” Will he have what it takes to topple the behemoth who has left two adversaries trounced in his wake? Who will leave the champion? Whose plans will God cause to prosper, because it can’t be both!

Your fighters need your support! Vote to the right and cheer them on to final victory!